#like. legitimately upset that he's not going to be feminine all the time

[idolomantises]

me: you know some of the comments about sera and prince not being able to sexualize them anymore were weird, but im sure that'll be the end of bad faith criticisms

instagram comments: (yelling at me over domino's redesign because they think its "twink death")

me:

[13thdoctorposts]

Sometimes it’s important to know when to let a show go. 

When 13 regenerated into 14 and had her clothes burnt off like a witch on a stake, sending a horrible message about women and gender RTD came out and said he did it to protect David from right wing media. Then the fans defended David coming back and that RTD would address why he had that face and why the clothes also regenerated, although I was upset with 13s regeneration I thought ok I’ll wait and see how this get handles. Because even though I don’t like the real world messaging maybe the in world messaging will be enough to make it ok.

But then what happens? We get a trans story for the very first story with very positive messaging for trans issues which is great but undermined by the fact RTD wanted to protect David from gender critiques by the right wing but didn’t seem to want to protect Yasmin Finney. So first David can’t wear Jodies costume for protection but then RTD has Yasmin live through being deadnamed in the show which she herself has said made her uncomfortable and then also gave her character the line of telling the Doctor to not assume pronouns… which any of the characters could have done but RTD chose Rose and then what happen? What always happens with the right wing, the pronoun line and the male presenting line are the ones that the right wing all go on about in every video, in every article… they deadname the character and then misgender and say horrible things about Yasmin… so RTD protects the 50+ year old white man who’s worn way more feminine things then 13 outfit in his career the media could use if they wanted to go after him but don’t protect the 20 year old Trans Woman? How people aren’t talking about how fucked up that is I don’t know.

Then we get no reason why the Doctor has that face and why the clothes regenerated on them. Then in their own regeneration… they don’t! They bi-regenerates and this time Ncuti does get the Doctor clothes, well half of them… why didn’t 15 regenerate with their own clothes? No instead we have the new Doctor walking around with no pants on… and why is it that 15 has to go pantless and not David? are we protecting David again? Perfectly fine to have a bunch of pics of 15 in his tighty whities and no pants but again David could not be seen in 13s full gender neutral outfit. 

Then to top all this off theres no mention in the loves lost of Yaz… even though the Doctor chose to drop her off in a park 3 days ago after telling her if they could Date anyone it would be Yaz… is that not love lost? Was saying good bye to Yaz not an emotional trigger? Now people are saying thats because only the dead were brought up… Rose is not dead unlike Yaz Rose is not only alive in another Dimension but also got herself a Doctor… Yaz currently is mourning the Doctor while they cant even seem to remember she existed despite dropping her off 3 days a go… so they weren’t all dead… however Rose was over 1000 years ago and Yaz 3 days ago… what hurts more the lost of someone you loved but who is still alive from 50 years ago or the one you lost last week? What makes logical sense is the love you lost most recently hurts the most… and people dont need to die for you to hurt losing them from your life if you love them.

Now we have 2 Doctors and people are already saying they can’t wait for David Tennant episodes, so if you think the 10th Doctor overshadowed the other Doctors when he was no longer the Doctor how overshadowed do you think the first main Doctor of colour is going to be when lots of peoples favourite white Doctor ever is also a legitimate Doctor in universe existing at the exact same time with a TARDIS? Ncuti doesn’t event get to be the only Doctor during his tenure he has to share it with David.  

The lastly no mentions of Yaz at all… seems shes completely forgotten and at the very end the Doctor says they are finally with their family the happiest he’s ever been… what a diss of every TARDIS team ever that the Doctor has found family with… your last crew you literally called your ‘Fam’, the Ponds you actually married into… Susan was your flesh and blood… but no this family you haven’t seen in 1000 years, of which only one of who was part of your TARDIS team are the ones you finally found family with and make you the happiest you’ve ever be? Literally at the exact same time the Doctor is sitting at that table saying all of that, Yaz is mourning the Doctor and not wanting to have left the TARDIS, but she doesn’t get a mention because for some reason if it’s a wlw relationship it means nothing and can be ignored completely. 

Honestly by the end the Doctor just seems like a complete prick, and not in a 13 I’m dealing with internal trauma and I accidentally snapped way but just in a I’m a shit person way. Talk about compromised morals, people wouldn’t shut up about it with 13 but the Doctor just left a young woman to mourn them while being the “happiest they have ever been” grabbing themselves a new family and pretending Yaz doesn’t exist. Talk about shit morals. People say Chibs didn’t know anything from 12s era, which wasn’t true it directly affected the way 13 kept the fam at arms length but after watching this clearly RTD didn’t even know what happened in the episode 14 regenerated from 13 in and the previous episode Legend of the Sea Devils, because surely if you did, you wouldn’t not mention Yaz at all and give a reason why the Doctor wouldn’t go see her while she’s mourning them and just grabbing a new family and claiming to be the happiest you’ve ever been in the 2000 years of life you remember. Because that would make the character look like a prick, not a hero, which is exactly what happened. If RTD is the amazing writer people claim, he could have come up with a Yaz mention and a reason why the Doctor wasn’t going to see her.

I know not everyone was happy with the wlw representation with Thasmin but you know what’s way worse? Not even mentioning it or even acknowledging Yaz’s existence.

And to top it off I am so very very over the double standard of the fandom… this episode, had plot holes, had important things that weren’t explained… like why that face and why did the clothes regenerate… things that weren’t explained that weren’t so important like where did the sonic screw driver come from, why can it do all the things it now does… it had racism from both the Toymaker and Donna… what on earth was that line about ‘do you come in every colour’, was paced poorly, it clearly should have been longer and decided to mess with lore by creating bi-rengeration out of thin air and not explaining how it would effect things going forward or why it even happen, like a true WTF… if Chibs had done even one of these things, or wrote this episode the exact same way the fandom would be coming for him instead they are praising the genius of RTD not caring about any of those things, all the sins they claimed Chibs did and some of them on a bigger scale in this episode but the treatment of RTD is the polar opposite. 

It’s unbelievably hypocritical, and makes the fandom look even worse for being so hard on the first female Doctor because none of this was acceptable for her but its not only fine but great with a male Doctor.

So I think it’s time for me to let this show go, and know it’s time to bow out. Because unlike the people who have been horrible about 13 for the last 6 years I understand sometimes you have to step away from something you love when its no longer for you and leave it for other people to love.

Im out with 13.

[booksrbetterthanpeople]

Do you have any angst headcanons about the science kids?

Many guys have experimented with dating Marc due to him looking feminine, and then they'd break up with him a few weeks later. It's made him afraid to ever date any guys because he's worried they're only dating him just to see if they're queer or not

Because of Lucien's influence, Marc is always finding new things to hate about himself and is worried Nathaniel will get upset with him because of his "flaws". It's gotten to a point that he started dressing how he used to when he used to date Lucien

Cosette is legitimately afraid to go back to her house after school. The treatment from her siblings and mother takes a real emotional toll on her, and she doesn't want to cry in front of them and give them more ammo

Once, they tried to use concealer to cover up their vitiligo, and got scolded for it even though their mother has made it abundantly clear she despises how they look

Aurore can't remember the last time she genuinely smiled around her parents. She's always pretending to be something she's not around them, and now any emotions she displays around them are all fake

She practices every facial expression before bed and keeps a journal of "acceptable responses" to say to her parents

Whenever Simon wakes up from nightmares about his parents, he screams, but no sound comes out. It's usually a sign he'll be nonverbal for a while

When he uses sign language, there are usually people who will scold and yell at him to talk until Simon just breaks down crying and runs away

When she was thirteen, Reshma was at this socialite party her parents were throwing, and one of her dad's colleagues felt her up when he wasn't looking. He died before she could ever tell anyone what he did

Because of this, it took Reshma a while to be able to trust any male friends of her parents, and she kept pepper spray on her out of fear

Jean always blamed himself for his mother leaving him and his dad, and it took weeks for Dejah to convince him otherwise. He hardly got up out of bed, he never talked to anyone, and he gave up the things that made him happy, convinced that his interests her the reason his mom left

When he was ten, Jean wore a skirt to school and got beat up in the bathroom during study hall by some guys a grade above him. Since that day, he's been too afraid to wear skirts and dresses

Lacey hardly ever buys anything because she's saving up her money for the event her grandparents pass away and she's tasked with taking care of her brothers

Rock climbing and parkour are the activities where she feels free and unburdened. If she were to stop, then it wouldn't be pretty

Ismael has been harassed by total strangers before the moment they heard his voice. When this one guy grabbed him while he was riding the subway, he kicked him in the balls, got off, and ran to his dad's house

He's scared for the day where Reshma may find a girlfriend and have not as much time for him, so he likes to spend every single moment with her until that day

Mireille would love to be the center of attention sometimes, but her dad will always find ways to make it grander than necessary and only cause her to close in on herself more

Mireille has some repressed anger issues because of their dad and is fearful that they may take it out on their friends one of these days

Denise has a hard time saying no, and some people like to take advantage of that when they need some heavy lifting done. It tires Denise out, but they're afraid of letting people down

They've had muscle cramps since they were twelve, but refuses to tell anybody, worried no one will want their help and they'll be useless

Zoé never got to spend any time with her dad, not because he was busy, but because of Audrey. She always forced her into some "feminine" activities like beauty pageants and debutante balls which would take up all of her time, just to make herself look good

Zoé's afraid to date anyone after one particularily bad experience with this one girl back at her old school. She was just a side piece for her to experiment with while she was still dating her boyfriend

[musclesandhammering]

Oh I agree with this hard. But I feel like there’s a certain component to this whole fuckery that you touched on, that rarely gets talked about, which is: Dean and his stans are the problem.

It’s always kinda hard to find anti destiel folks who address this because antis are generally wincest shippers or brotherly salmondean fans, meaning Dean is one of their favs too and they almost always see cas as the sole problem. But if you look around at the most deranged and vehement and out of touch destiel meta, it’s almost always by deangirls.

And it always goes the same: Dean is their misunderstood mistreated eldest-daughter-coded bisexual little softhearted nerd bottom who wants to suck the dick of every male character he meets and is so distraught every time ‘his angel’ is gone that he goes into an inconsolable depression. And Sam only exists to be he and Cas’s relationship therapist. Seriously. Like.. they genuinely believe that.

Nevermind the fact that, in the actual show, dean has repeatedly chosen Sam over everything- including cas- to an unhealthy degree. He’s not female coded in any way whatsoever (that would be Sam), he’s not queer coded at all (the would also be Sam), and in fact he’s generally framed as the foil to Sam’s feminine coding- the domineering, closed minded, abrasive asshole who mirrors their shitty dad far more than anything else. He also doesn’t really give a shit about cas. Like the times cas has been killed, Sam has been more upset about it than dean, and the times where cas exited due to some morally tricky situation going on between them, dean instantly detaches from him with little to no difficulty. Even when they’re together, he doesn’t seem fond of him, ever. He’s mildly annoyed at best and outright hostile at worst. Sam is the one who finds cas amusing and is always patient and forgiving with him.

In fact, I could go on and on about how Dean has constantly treated both Sam and Cas like shit at pretty much every turn. But with Sam, it comes from a place of personal dysfunction and codependency issues- Dean doesn’t know how to express concern without anger, doesn’t know how to be protective without being controlling, doesn’t know how to guide Sam without also denouncing him, doesn’t know how to love a family member without projecting John’s “love” for him. Whereas with cas, Dean genuinely seems to just not trust or like him about 80% of the time.

But the problem is his fans can’t acknowledge that their fav is legitimately bad in those ways (because lord forbid you enjoy a problematic character), so they find excuses for some aspects of him (he just uses anger to hide how sensitive he is, it’s not his fault!!) and do mental gymnastics to twist other aspects into something completely different (he’s always annoyed at cas bc he’s frustrated about having to hide his feelings!!) and just outright brush other aspects off as ‘bad writing’ and ignore them (racist porn, jailbait kink, and misogyny anyone?). And what they’re left with- the absolute bare skin and bones of his character- is a guy who maybe kinda sorta could be attracted to his angel buddy 🤷‍♀️.

TLDR- Dean’s a pos and his fans can’t accept that, so they hallucinate him into a different character- one who doesn’t put his brother above everything to an unhealthy degree and is a little bit in love with cas.

in re: “cas knows dean better than sam”

“cas sees dean as a whole person and sam just sees dean’s façade as his big brother slash parent” but like how and where. outside of your fanfiction. season and episode. scene and line. if it’s so obvious and apparent you should have at least 3-5 concrete examples right? “sam doesn’t know dean carried him out of the burning house” yeah but did cas? outside of a footnote in the angelic manila folder they gave him between seasons 3 and 4 so he could better manipulate him and sam into doing heaven’s bidding? like if you’re going to say “cas knows dean better than sam” than you need to show how cas succeeds where you perceive sam to be failing at the very least. but even your perceptions of how sam doesn’t measure up are so warped, blinkered, and moronic that it wouldn’t even be worth much if you could provide the textual evidence, but at least you’d have a semblance of a point. like say anything without going “as an eldest daughter…” “well my relationship with my sibling isn’t…” please say anything without fucking projecting your own self-pitying crybaby bullshit onto your little woobie dean and using the actual canon text of the show. I’m literally begging you.

like the thing of it all is and always has been that you’re so hell-bent on twisting the sam and dean relationship to fit into this narrow and almost entirely inaccurate mold which is the basis upon which you build the entire Destiel Mythos that you literally lose all sense of media literacy. you don’t even miss the forest for the trees, you miss the trees for like, the pretend invisible things you’re seeing in between the trees, the forest is a whole long way away from your current level of perception. because the Destiel Mythos is based entirely on the fact that dean is Not Seen and Not Appreciated and Not Loved and Cannot Be Himself until cas comes along, and that Family (read: sam) Is Only A Burden on Him That He Must Be Freed From In Order to Flourish, so you keep trying to warp the sam relationship into something that is only one dimension of it – and keep ignoring the ways in which dean is seen, loved and understood within it, because you need to keep lying to yourselves that there is a narrative need to emancipate dean from something that he has never wanted emancipation from because it is ultimately a net good for dean in the particular circumstances of their lives. it’s also profoundly unhealthy, codependent, evil and toxic etc. (a lot more dean’s fault than sam’s but I will nawt be getting into all that right now) but that doesn’t change the fact that sam and dean both know and understand and feel deeply that they are each other’s person – that they know the best and love the most in the world. but that – which IS true canon fact – is incompatible with the Destiel Mythos so it must be ignored and all good sense must be thrown out the window in order to do it.

anyway i digress there are two main categories of Bad Thinking that i will be addressing below

childhood/ “parent/child” / blah blah blah

every single thing people are saying in favour of the deeply stupid thesis in the title of this post is proof positive of the very silly form of ‘analysis’ I just described. a few things:

“wah sam didn’t know that dean carried him out of the burning house :( this means that dean withholds things from sam to protect him because he is a PARENT and sam can only know things about him in the context of him being a PARENT to him” – what the fuck are you on about genuinely. first of all reducing the sam/dean relationship exclusively to parent/child is in itself foolishness for so many reasons that I don’t have time for right now. but also, it’s clear that this is just something that happened when sam was a baby that just never came up. in the scene (1.09) where this is brought up, dean is mildly surprised that he or john never mentioned that detail and then states that sam knows the rest of the story (i.e. the actual traumatic stuff) just as well as dean does – which is true, demonstrably whenever they talk about it.

obviously there are some things that happened to dean in their childhood that sam doesn’t know about (or didn’t know about, until told in whatever episode they come up in). equally, there are things dean doesn’t know about sam’s childhood, e.g. the fact that he was so lonely he needed a zanna (11.08). or how dean didn’t remember that sam was friends with barry cook until he mentions it when they go back to their old school (4.13). or about the nature of sam’s relationship with amy pond (7.03). these don’t mean that ‘sam withheld these things to protect dean out of parental love’ lol, it’s just that there are details and events in each of their lives that the other happens to not have been told about.

similarly “sam didn’t even know dean wanted to be a firefighter L” girl did dean know sam wanted to be a lawyer? in 1.01 he’s pretty surprised that sam has a law school interview. the point here isn’t “neither sam nor dean know each other well,” these are minutiae that aren’t relevant to how well you know someone as a whole, and very poorly demonstrate the bad and inaccurate point that dean withholds things from sam the way a parent does a child (on a constant or regular basis). obviously the way they were raised, sam was deemed too young to know about certain things until he got older and dean had to keep that secret, but as shown in 3.08 flashbacks, most if not all of this is eventually revealed throughout their childhood when sam is still fairly young.

or possibly the dumbest one is that “wah sam doesn’t even know that dean reads books L” whenever that was he was also obviously joking because in more serious moments (e.g. 8.14) he admits that dean is smart/a better researcher than he is, literally remembers dean reading to him as a kid (8.21) so like. clam down  

one of the extra annoying variants of this type of ‘proof’ covers things that are very clearly novel pieces of information about dean that dean, sam, and the audience are learning about dean in real time. like if you’re actually watching the show to comprehend it as it was intended to be comprehended, instead of funnelling everything through the Destiel Machine until it’s unrecognizable slop that fits neatly into your pre-ordained molds that Make Destiel Necessary In the Narrative (when it actually isn’t, at all) it’s abundantly clear. the top two worst offenders:

“sam didn’t even know that dean is good with kids :( he doesn’t even realize that dean raised him :(” first of all you people need to understand that parentification does not literally create a parent-child dynamic between siblings but I digress – this doesn’t make any sense bro. in 1.03 dean admits he doesn’t know any kids as an adult. dean being good with his own kid brother when they were both kids is to any reasonable person not necessarily linked with him being good with other random kids when he’s an adult. in 1.03 it’s clear that dean himself is a bit surprised that he’s able to connect w/ lucas so well because he’s clearly not dealt with a lot of kids since sam grew up. the whole point of this is that dean, sam, and the audience are all sort of seeing a new side of dean. who again is just 26. after this very early episode, there’s no question from sam that dean is able to connect w kids. sam being a bit surprised by this also has absolutely zero connection with him not understanding or realizing that dean looked out for him when they were both kids – sam is standing there at 22 years of age talking about adult dean and children – of fucking course he doesn’t mean himself are you stupid.

from the very first season, sam is very clearly aware of everything dean ~did for him~ when they were kids, see e.g. 1.21: “Dean...ah...I wanna thank you. […] For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And I don't know, I just wanted to let you know, just in case.”

and 1.06: DEAN: Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way. (SAM laughs.) SAM: Yeah, I know you are.

and then possibly even more stupidly, the one where it’s like “wah sam doesn’t even know dean can cook :( he doesn’t even know that DEAN was the one making him food as a babe in arms :(” – when sam is surprised that dean made something fairly gourmet and from scratch literally the first time they have ever had a permanent living space with a functional kitchen. in this VERY scene (8.14), dean himself points out that they haven’t had a kitchen before and when sam remarks on the irregularity of him doing serious cooking, he says “I’m nesting”, clearly showing that this is a novel development because they now have a kitchen, and that it’s irregular relative to past behaviour – both of them acknowledge this. because real proper in-depth cooking and making box mac and cheese for sam until he was like 11 and old enough to be left alone are two different things, which sam understands because he’s smart, unlike whoever chooses to make this point. dean never showed significant signs of liking to cook before this, which is what the exchange is about, but he did have to prepare food for them both when sam was too young – of course sam knows he had to, there are childhood memories referred to (e.g. 14.11) where sam is mentioned to literally help dean do the cooking as kids lol (and yes, genius, sam says ‘I didn’t know you knew what a kitchen was’ or something to that effect, but if you think he’s being 100% literal there I have an oceanfront property in Kansas to sell you)

again, obviously there are pieces that sam doesn’t know about dean, e.g. when he’s talking about his response to mary dying in 1.03. but again, Sam is 22, dean is 26, the last time they were in regular contact was when sam was 18-20, these are things that happen when people grow up, they’re able to reflect and share on childhood experiences if they’re close with their siblings as adults. it’s clearly not something that 26 y/o dean wanted to hide from 22 y/o sam. yes sam didn’t know everything about how dean felt when they were young, but that’s equally true in the other direction, and it’s such an irrelevant point in this discussion when, crucially, sam does learn these things about dean mostly fairly early on in the series (i.e. when they’re really not that deep into adulthood yet). cas was also not magically blessed w/ knowledge about dean, he also had to learn whatever it is that he knows, but somehow sam has to know everything about dean from age 7 or it doesn’t count when it’s sam lol.

“sam doesn’t know the One True Dean / doesn’t see through his facades”

the next branch of defending this flawed thesis is invariably that sam has little idea of the fronts and facades that dean puts up and is content to just believe them, whereas cas digs deep and sees the One True Dean that stupid sam always misses. there is nothing in the text that demonstrates this is true. multiple times, we see sam being very knowing of the fact that dean puts up fronts and facades. sam is also knowledgeable of the way dean perceives himself, and – demonstrated in multiple episodes before such sam lines were very poorly recycled and regurgitated into cas’s dialogue in 15.18, but keep acting like that was the first time anyone ever showed that they knew the One True Dean.

Obviously there are times where sam teases dean when he’s being more touchy-feely than usual, but 9.99 times out of 10 (as a conservative estimate in case there's something i'm forgetting otherwise i would say every time) that’s very clearly coming from a place of knowing the real dean vs. the façade he puts up because that’s the whole joke. and it’s allowed to be a joke because they’re siblings and that’s what siblings do lol. esp since sam and dean have touchy feely moments at the end of like every episode.

examples of all of the above off the top of my head (there are more than these, but these are the ones I can think of):

2.02 (about John’s death)

Sam: “I mean this ‘strong silent’ thing of yours, it's crap. […] I'm over it. This isn't just anyone we're talking about, this is Dad. I know how you felt about the man.”

Dean: “You know what, back off, all right? Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to.”

Sam: “No, no, no, that's not what this is about, Dean. I don't care how you deal with this. But you have to deal with it, man. Listen, I'm your brother, all right? I just want to make sure you're okay.”

2.03 (Sam to Dean, also about John’s death): “You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory.”

Note that Dean essentially admits that Sam is right in these two instances in 2.04 bc I know yall have stupid shit to say about john too that has nothing to do with how anyone actually felt about him in canon

3.07 (about Dean’s demon deal – also proven true in later episodes)

SAM: Dude, drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punch line. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid.

DEAN: I'm not!

SAM: You're lying. And you may as well drop it 'cause I can see right through you.

DEAN: You got no idea what you're talking about.

SAM: Yeah, I do. You're scared, Dean. You're scared because your year is running out, and you're still going to Hell, and you're freaked.

DEAN: And how do you know that?

SAM: Because I know you! […] Yeah, I've been following you around my entire life! I mean, I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And, I mean, I can't blame you. It's just […] I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. 'Cause... (can't find words; tears in his eyes) just 'cause.

5.18 [Sam figures out what Dean is doing re: his plan to let Michael possess him, tracks him down, and eventually is the catalyst for Dean ‘making the right call’, which he predicts] – e.g.:

SAM: No, you won’t. When push shoves, you’ll make the right call

DEAN: You know, if tables were turned…I’d let you rot in here. Hell, I have let you rot in here.

SAM: Yeah, well…I guess I’m not that smart.

DEAN: I—I don’t get it. Sam, why are you doing this?

SAM: Because… you’re still my big brother.

8.14 (basically the o.g. version of whatever went on in 15.18 + sam intrinsically understanding the trials are a death wish for dean): “I'm closing the gates. It's a suicide mission for you. I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it. […] I AM smart, and so are you. You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius – when it comes to lore, to – you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen – better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please – please believe in me, too.”

10.22 (understanding how much dean has ~done for him~)

SAM: I'm saving my brother.

CASTIEL: You told Dean—

SAM: —I know what I told Dean. Cas, look. I've been the one out there, messed up and scared. And alone. And Dean—

CASTIEL: He did whatever he could to save you.

SAM: Yes. I mean, it's become his thing. I owe him this. I owe him everything.

10.23 (basically the o.g. version of whatever went on in 15.18, x2 – from Sam to Dean): “You were also willing to summon death to make sure you could never do any more harm. You summoned me because you knew I would do anything to protect you. That's not evil, Dean. That's not an evil man. That is a good man crying to be heard, searching for... some other way. […] You will never, ever hear me say that you -- the real you -- is anything but good.”

11.13 (Sam understanding exactly how Dean feels about Amara being his ‘deepest desire’, and confirming that it doesn’t make him a bad person)

Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I’m…

Sam: Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?

Dean: For starters, yeah.

Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She’s the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I’m not.

Dean: You know that I want her ass dead.

Sam: Yes. Of course. And I know you’ve also probably beaten yourself up a hundred times over it, but where has that gotten us? (Long silence) Just how bad is it?

13.02 (Sam perfectly explaining Dean’s psyche to Jack)

JACK: Is that why Dean hates me?

SAM: Dean doesn’t hate you. It… Look, sometimes the wires in Dean’s head get crossed and—and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and—and fear.

JACK: Why would he be afraid?

SAM: Because Dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone. And right now, we need to protect you. But we may also need to protect people from you.

14.03 [Sam assesses Dean’s psychological/emotional response to the Michael possession; end of episode, Dean confirms that Sam’s assessment was fully accurate]

14.10 [Sam is the only one able to snap Dean out of his weird Michael mind loop by using their code word]

14.11 [Sam figuring out that something is troubling Dean just based on the fact that Dean hugs him]

15.17 (self explanatory at this point)

DEAN: Chuck has to die. He has to! Otherwise he'll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can't live like that, man! I can't live like that! I won't!

SAM: I know you feel like that right now, okay. I know you do. But you gotta trust me. My entire life, you've protected me— from Dad, from Lucifer, from everything. I didn't always like it, you know, but... it's the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on. It's the only thing I've ever known that was true. So please... put the gun away. Just put it away, and we'll figure it out, Dean, we'll find another way, you and me. We always do.

like maybe there are some cas moments w dean along these lines too. i don't know, i don't remember what the guy says or does anymore it's been too many years and he is not memorable. but the point is where and in what capacity and based on what metric other than the amount of bad fanfic you've read does cas exceed sam in these respects.

so basically just. genuinely, what are you people literally ever talking about. go watch the show instead of saying stupid wrong stuff about sam on the hellsites all day. or watch another show (please for the love of god watch any other show this one is absolutely lost on you and it’s such a stupid one too i'm embarrassed for you)

[pastelwitchling]

It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey

⭐⭐⭐

It's official. I'm over romances.

There were a few legitimate critiques that knocked down the rating for me, but I do feel like the romance genre is just not for me anymore, not when the romance is ALL that's going on. Not since they're all written the. Exact. Same.

Legally Blonde meets a Hallmark story in this book, and while I truly enjoy both of things, 400-500 pages is just too much for a story about nothing but pining for each other. I should say, I really liked the characters. Piper was spoiled, but far from a snob. I really appreciated how kind she was, how kind her sister was, how kind Brendan was, how kind the people of Westport were. But I think this is just where the genre itself comes in, because there was no reason for them to be apart other than drama.

Piper acknowledges she doesn't like or trust the phony LA life or its people, yet she doesn't think she can stay in Westport because "real life is back in LA, isn't it? The flashy LA girl is just who I am, isn't it?" blah blah blah. It's just nonsense, the book could've easily been 200 pages, I don't know why it was almost 400.

That, and the next to final chapter was soooo unnecessary. I thought she was going to build her own independence, save herself for once, and instead he had to show up and save her FROM HER OWN CROWD. What, she can't say no? She can't make up her own mind? Why did she leave in the first place if she didn't want to? I know that the way things unfolded upset her, but to make a snap decision like that just showed SUCH a lack of growth on her part. So people don't seem to like you this particular night; you don't have a little faith that the people you built a relationship with had a good reason for not showing up? Your own grandmother, for instance? You instead go running off to a crowd you don't even like so you can whine about the decision a few hours later?

Also, I usually don't mind at all the use of "male" or "female", "masculine" or "feminine", but these words were often used as the main and sometimes SOLE description of things, and I just didn't understand what they were supposed to mean. What is feminine handwriting? What is a male scent? She felt "female" and he felt "male" and what does that mean , Tessa?

And this is really nitpicky, but the writing was very, VERY repetitive with the names God and Jesus Christ. They would often come up three to four times in one paragraph at least once a page, and it was just way too much.

Other than that, I think the story was reasonably entertaining, I certainly didn't feel like I HAD to keep going, the characters were pretty likeable, but I just felt so much nothing for so much of the book because it was just the same longing repeated over and over. Yeah. Think I'm hanging up my contemporary romance hat for a while since I'm kind of sick of just reading the same thing happen in every book.

[hatteymcstache]

Another callout post in the air.

I've been told about this post going around when someone was asking me if I was okay; so I've given into a lot of thought and I'm here explain. again. I will not display this person's name because I know the toxic part of my community will go ballistic and I hate that so much. Please don't.

The callout post in question:

Firstly, those who have tried went from being calm to immediately hostile when I tried to explain myself in dms. And the very rare few who reached out to me apologized for jumping to conclusions. You on the other hand, never tried reaching out to me once. If it's a confrontation in the discord server, then I'm not active in it and most likely forget. If it's a personal dm, I didn't get anything recent from you at all.

1. I did not defend C0nji. yes I do look at the whole anti/proshipping issue on both sides, doesn't mean I condone malicious creepy intent and doxxing/death threats. I'm just saying this artist is not a despicable person as far as I know, nor did they go out of their way of legitimately hurting others. With that being said, their whole idea of 'fiction doesn't affect reality' is very shallow-minded and gross considering how much it has put minors in danger, and they should learn to think about it but that's their choice, and problem. I'm not here to babysit.

2. The same claim I already debunked many times but will say again: I carelessly copy pasted old info and had no idea that word was still there but I removed the term 'Asperger's' and have stopped using it since, I was made aware of this years ago already. At the time I wasn't aware that in a deep negative history, and I've been around a few autistic mutuals who used that term as a scientific term.

3. Another of the same claim: Yes I do see Chihiro as a boy (or sometimes non-binary) cause as a trans man, it brings me comfort to see guys in a skirt with confidence. I'm not the most feminine guy but i'd like to have the freedom to explore without being misgendered. And if people do not like trans Sakura that's understandable, I just want to shed some light where trans woman can look buff, especially those who are as athletic as Sakura. The trans post you showed is meant to be a body positive for pre-op and post-op trans folk but you decided to flip it around and call it something else.

4. Me being genuinely upset of people making claims towards me doesn't automatically mean I've brushed off every transfem's concerns. Some of them who came forward to me, the conversations went from civil to being aggressive because they wouldn't listen or even consider my explanation that my intentions weren't malicious at all. Then the only trans woman who was civil came to me with fair criticism, told me I should be more specific with my content warnings when it comes to drawing pre-op bodies cause it would cause dysphoria for certain trans people, especially to trans women. That was where I listened and assured to be more cautious with how I portray my work.

5. The rest about me woobifying Taka and Gundham which I've addressed many times; characters dressing up in oversized sweaters or acting childlike/naïve doesn't automatically make them incapable or infant. That is never what I intend. And Gundham 'not knowing what sex is'- yes I know he's a breeder, human intercourse is a similar but different thing. He's asking Mondo in his own way because he has lacked connection with people for a long time; that's how I'm portraying, this also has been implied many times in his free time events and with how he talks to people. This is something where I relate to Gundham cause all I had was my art and imagination as a kid, so learning to interact with others is overwhelming.

I also don't understand that apparently Gundham needing people like Taka and Mondo (as dad-like figures) is so terrible- I'll say this now that yes I do portray Gundham as someone who is headstrong but he can feel very lonesome, he just doesn't how to express it. It's okay to need someone who truly accepts you or is that so wrong? Also it was never portrayed that Gundham or Taka need to reply on someone 24/7. so I really don't understand that argument you're trying to make. To me, It just sounds like autistic people shouldn't rely or need anyone at all cause it's offensive. If that's not what you mean I'm sorry, but that's what I'm perceiving cause all your statements are vague.

I not only do research but have talked to autistic mutuals/followers when developing my character Timmy; a lot of the valid criticism comes from how I should write his symptoms, showing both his mature and child-like sides etc, they even share their own experiences so I can illustrate them in a realistic and positive light. The way he's portrayed and capable of many things has made him relatable to a lot of people, which is something I'm trying to strive for; especially when some autistic people (who shared their experiences in my dms) behave like Timmy get ridiculed for ''''acting like 9 year olds'''' in my comment section which is something I never condone in my community I even made a comic post regarding that ableism.

No one is ever obligated to agree with the way I portray my stories and opinions; if someone doesn't like what I'm doing they are free to unfollow, block me and look for any other artist that does a better job in their art. My biggest issue with callout posts like this, is that people have different opinions of what makes a character a good or bad rep. It's very subjective and it depends on every person. Half of them including you do not like my representation, meanwhile the other half does enjoy my work, even find comfort in it. I'm not here to please every single person who didn't get everything they need from my work, I'm one man.

But the most painful part is not debunking these claims over and over; it's when my followers believe them right away without even asking me if they were true. It always leaves me unsurprised but disappointed. And yeah I'm not a good person, yes people tend to get scared of me that's fair, but I'm not as despicable as so many of these callout posts claim. I have talked to certain followers who have the decency to ask me what's going on; followers who actually listened to my explanation, and I listened to them back when they have questions. You don't even have to agree or like me after my explanation, just have the courtesy to ask before jumping to conclusions.

So yeah, the callout post is vague, and blown a lot of things I drew out of proportion and turned them into malicious intent which was never my approach. I was going to personally dm you about this but you have lost it the moment you made an 'awareness' post instead that does more damage than good. Feel free to keep your post up, feel free to think what you will. I just want to say all this to people who are genuinely confused. Whatever you plan to do, go ahead. I'm exhausted and have more in life to worry about. Unless followers genuinely want to ask questions to know more, this will be last time I confront the same. claims.

[izzyliker]

regarding ur post about ed and his enjoyment of luxury items being perceived as feminine by parts of the fandom; hard agree that stede’s wardrobe for the time period he’s in is realistically an example of wealth and masculinity more than it is anything else, but i think people get this impression because in a sort of anachronistic way, stede and his aesthetic choices are perceived by both the english navy and some of the pirates as feminine. he’s referred to as a woman twice, i think? once by the english (hysterical woman in a dressing gown etc) and once by calico jack (the big gal). so i think people make the correlation between that and ed taking on stede’s aesthetics as ed embracing femininity. so i was just wondering if you think that’s an anachronism by way of the fact that modern audiences would consider stede’s aesthetic choices to be feminine, or if those are specifically class based insults that somehow relate back to femininity? i struggle with what i think the show was trying to say here because i don’t think stede is all that feminine, and when he lets go of his connection to wealth and i guess theoretically his class privilege at the end of e10 (tho idk if that will ever actually go away entirely, since i think we’re supposed to read him as being southern), he completely abandons his former aesthetic choices. so the show tells us his aesthetics are connected to wealth, but then why is he being mocked by being referred to as a woman, and a fat woman at that? idk this is very difficult for me to reconcile so i was just wondering if you had any thoughts on this. if not that’s also fine! your post just got my brain juices going because i think about this a lot and wonder if there’s some nuances i’m missing since i’m not english or from any former colony that is currently or was recently part of the commonwealth.

tbh those two instances also have me confused because it’s just not really a thing otherwise. my working assumptions are that the navy guys are misogynistic and seeing stede cower in a robe to them seems like a cowardly move = emasculated = woman, and that calico jack was trying to get under stedes skin and both the perceived “fatness” and emasculation that stede is distinctly insecure about (like when chauncey tells him he’s fat or whayever and stede bless his heart looks stricken and upset. and rhys is built like an athletic brick so i don’t even know how that was supposed to be taken except that they call him fat to get to him?? because he simply just isn’t - if you ever see pictures of him he’s just broad. he doesn’t even really have a tummy) were easy ways to do that. i don’t think they’re class based there, i think they ARE supposed to be them calling stede womanly or not manly enough but in neither case iirc it is about his clothes; i think he’s even wearing a robe in both scenes. i struggle with this one the same way i legitimately do not understand what izzy is trying to communicate with his little Oooh Daddy moment both from a writing perspective and from a character perspective because it seems like both these things are just dropped immediately LOL

[mydisasteracademia]

Random Shigaraki Headcanons

This boi. This grubby boi. I love him so much but at the same time he would probably literally dust me so... (oof this one kinda dragged on and on... lol)

Literally has no idea about real-life relationship dynamics outside of what he’s observed in his own parents, in Sensei, and in Kurogiri. All he thinks in the beginning is that people who claim to love you will stand by and let you be hurt, that villains took care of him better than any damn hero, and that he can only truly rely on himself. (And Sensei.)

It takes a loooooooong time of interacting with other people to break himself out of this mindset, and even then, sometimes it comes creeping back if bad things happen.

Getting into canon territory with this one, but really, really, reeeeeeeeally hates heroes because they didn’t even bother to help him when he was going through a whole mental breakdown. Literally one of the only reasons he hates them so much. I know this is pretty much canon, but I doubt he would ever grasp Stain’s ideology of ‘maybe some are good’ because in his eyes, not even the underground pro heroes even bothered to see if he was okay. Remember the scene from the manga with the old lady when he was a child? Yeah. There were bound to be heroes he bumped into, even off-duty ones, and nobody even gave him another glance.

Has extremely bad abandonment issues. If he likes you, he’s gonna want to keep you because he didn’t really have anything nice to call his own while growing up, and Sensei kept him fairly isolated so he literally tolerates nobody else other than him and Kurogiri at first. Reacts horribly when his friends want to break off the friendship. Goes through a whole depressive episode for a while, his old insecurities pop back up, and he really thinks he’s worse than trash and not worth anyone’s time or attention for a while. Prime time for Sensei to further twist his mind.

On that same note, if you’re dating, for the love of everything still good in this world do not break his heart. He will never forgive you. Literally will go to the grave before he forgives you for doing what you did (whether it be cheating on him or completely dropping him like a hot potato). Although this might also extend to little issues that make him feel like you don’t love him enough, he’ll forgive you if you show him plenty of attention and apologize for whatever he was upset over. If you cannot remain patient through his toxic mindsets, it’s best not to get into a relationship in the first place with him if you want to still remain friends afterward, because breaking it off means instant heartbreak.

Anyway! Back to happier, funnier hcs!!

The whole embodiment of the “Wears black in summer because I look good and am willing to suffer” vine. Will not give up his comfy black shirt and sweats for anything because yes, he does look good in black, and yes, he is willing to suffer. He’ll switch to a v-neck tee though. Even he’s not that masochistic.

Really prone to dry skin. I know that’s canon, but just... this poor man can’t keep moisturized to save his own life. Constantly has to apply a special moisturizer that’s specifically made for ultra-sensitive skin and has no scents whatsoever.

Will gripe about having to spend so much money on ointment and moisturizer for both him and Dabi. It’s one of the very few things they bond over, other than having a shitty father and pushover family... and their hatred of All Might.

Shigaraki 100% would be Dabi’s alibi if he actually managed to kill Endeavor. When it comes to the shitty dad club, he’s a fuckin’ ride-or-die.

Kinda sensitive over the fact that both he and Midoriya have the same sort of red shoes, but he loves his pair too much to throw them out. Purposefully aims for Midoriya’s shoes every single time they meet each other on the off chance that they get ruined enough for him to get different shoes, unknowing that he literally can’t just... get differently-colored shoes due to him being originally Quirkless (yes, The Shoes™ theory strikes again)

Literally never forgets a single thing about people he cares about. He’s the type of person who will remember every single thing you tell him about yourself, and especially birthdays. While he doesn’t exactly show his affection very loudly, he would be the type of person who tell you “happy birthday” on the day of as soon as he first sees you, and would treat you a little nicer all day that day.

This boy just has the biggest, scarred heart for his ‘good crowd’. I cannot stress enough just how much like Midoriya he could’ve turned out if he hadn’t been abandoned by society. This mf would give the green bean a run for his motherfuckin money.

“I really just hate the world and everything in it... except for you, maybe I could make an exception for you because you’re nice to me and I appreciate your company too much”

Even though I hc quite a few League members to be like cats when it comes to affection, Shigaraki’s spirit animal is a cat. Likes to lounge about in off-moments, slow to affection and very quick to remember exactly how people treat him, yet if he likes you he shows affection quietly enough that it’s not obvious at first. Like “oh, you’re in the same room as me. It’s not like I missed you or anything, me sitting right next to you at the bar when it’s totally empty means nothing. The fact that I’m looking right at you when you’re talking doesn’t mean I like you.”

LOVES HUGS. If you hug him and he likes you, you’ve probably made his whole day. Depending on how things are going, probably his whole fucking week. Just please hug him, he needs positive affection so bad

Major tsun-tsun. The most tsun-tsun. Grumpy until you get to know him, and if he likes you he’ll show you in little ways: listening to your ideas more, letting you stay closer for longer, maybe getting you something like food.

AFRAID OF TOUCH. I REPEAT, AFRAID OF TOUCH. Not from anyone he likes, of course; this baby is so touch-starved that he deserves a thousand hugs. But if he likes you, he will not initiate physical affection because he’s so afraid of accidentally dusting you. The memories of his family dying (except for his father, because #FuckKotaro2k21) haunt him almost every time he dreams (and if that doesn’t, then other traumatizing events certainly do), and he absolutely would not forgive himself if he dusted his favorite League member/civilian.

Definitely likens the rest of the League to his MVPs after a while of knowing them. Knowing how he operates, it’s adorable.

Would begrudgingly let Toga play around with his hair. I can just see him sitting blank-faced, staring at the mirror as she talks about whatever while brushing and braiding it into a cute plait. He would be hesitant to undo her hard work afterward, no matter how much he grouches that it “ruins his boss vibe”.

The kind of person to go to McDonalds at 3 AM just because he was craving chicken nuggets and ranch. Yes, ranch. He’s an old-school mf who don’t got no time for no barbecue.

Gets really irritated over Toga mooning over Uraraka and Midoriya, but doesn’t stop her from talking about how much she wants to ‘be’ them. (Encourages homicide. Advises homicide. Spinner has to stop her from actually getting ready to commit homicide.)

Disgruntled™

G L O A T S about the time he took away Overhaul’s chance to use his Quirk. “Yeah, we would’ve been satisfied with Compress taking his left arm away to be petty, but then Overhaul had to be a sentient piece of dick cheese, and well, y’know I couldn’t let him get away with that”

It’s becoming a problem. The others have learnt to tune him out once he gets going. Compress just smiles under the mask when he remembers it. Nobody knows what he’s really thinking.

His damn crowning moment. His apex point. There’s no going further beyond that (until he finally defeats Midoriya and takes over Japan as the world’s most feared villain of all time).

“Shigaraki, I’mma let you finish, but AFO still holds the record for being the most infamous villain of all time! Of all time!” <-- let the boy dream okay, he’s been waiting for this moment his whole damn life

Can you tell that I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass? Because I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass

Chronic emo phase. Hears the G note and just sighs heavily

Has probably seen hentai. Doesn’t really get the appeal of high-pitched feminine screams. Probably more of a tiddy man than an ass man. Just... boobie

His first fictional crush was Aeris/Aerith. Legitimately lost his shit when she died.

Man Crush Monday is Sephiroth all the way. Especially his one-winged angel form. Wanted to cosplay him for Halloween but didn’t because the cosplay was too costly.

Will make “That’s what she said” jokes in the most deadpan voice. At least Mustard kinda snickers at them.

Probably would’ve been pretty patient with Eri. Her traumatic past certainly would’ve pitted her as a kindred spirit with him, and he would think her Quirk would be a powerful asset if used right. Probably would’ve practiced it by destroying something and then telling her to rewind it so that he can break it again.

Shigaraki, holding Eri by her armpits: “I’ve only had her for ten minutes but if anything happened to her I’d dust everyone in the room to make her feel better”

The rest of the League: “???????? Okay?????”

Legitimately holds a powerful grudge against parents who abuse or neglect their children, especially against abusive fathers. Almost as powerful as his hatred for All Might. Will actively go after someone he sees is abusive to their children and will not let them live.

Would probably adopt an orphan after killing their abusive parents. “Oh, that was your dad/mom/parent? Well guess you’re mine now. Let’s go get chicken nuggets, kid”

Might somehow rope Dabi into going abusive-parent-hunting with him during a raid. Takes great pleasure in seeing the guilty party’s horrified, pained look on their face as they slowly dissolve into a pile of ash.

[vampish-glamour]

I've reached a point where I am legitimately ashamed of being lgbt. There's so much sexism (I have seen "queers" quoting -almost verbatim- ideas of womanhood from the 1870s. Let that sink in for a moment.) and box building coming out of that community, that I, a gnc lesbian, who has only ever known sex (gender isn't really a part of our culture...yet, we're importing all those wonderful 60+ genders -.-) feel like those people are hellbent on putting me in a stereotyped box - while they themselves screech about boxes. Worse yet, lgbt acceptance is decreasing thanks to that shit. 10 years ago I wouldn't have been afraid to come out to my parents. Now, I am.

Sorry, for venting, but there's no one I could safely talk to about those grievances.

As I always say, no need to apologize for venting! 💖

I feel you. It’s embarrassing at this point to be lgbt because we’re automatically associated with the “queers”. People tend not to make the separation between them and actual lgbt people just trying to go about our lives.

And that association hurts us in the long run.

Honest to goodness homophobes aren’t making the distinction between “queer” people and lgbt people. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen somebody take a look at some crazy news article, and make the “slippery slope” argument.

“We told you same sex marriage would be a slippery slope!!” Is what they say, and it KILLS me to hear that sort of thing.

The sexism is bad, too. I see it around so much and it genuinely upsets me. Here’s this group of people talking about how progressive and accepting they are... while being unbelievably sexist. They enforce gender roles, they push old fashioned ideas of womanhood, and it’s just tiring to see.

You’re absolutely right in saying that the “queers” are hellbent on shoving you in a box. They simply can’t comprehend the idea of a GNC person. They need gender roles. They need to be able to say “this is a masculine person, so he’s a man. This is a feminine person, so she’s a woman. And this is somebody in the middle, so they’re neither”.

I just wish things weren’t the way they were. It makes it exhausting to be lgbt, because it feels like the sane bunch of us are running around doing damage control while the Queers do their damned hardest to shut us up and speak for and over us.

And I hope that the lgbt movement can get back on the right track to become respectable again, and to stop making us all look like absolute lunatics. Because it’s really hard to go around in the world as an lgbt person while people are going around acting like idiots in your name.

The acceptance drop is scaring me, because I can easily see a future where “lgbt” no longer means “same sex attracted and/or is transgender/transsexual”... but comes to be purely associated with the “queer community”. And we simply won’t be taken seriously.

And if there’s no distinction made between a gay bi or trans person and a “nonbinary demisexual genderfluid panromantic”, as we’re starting to see... we’re in trouble. I don’t blame people for letting their acceptance drop. Because I mean, look around. The lgbtqiakeysmash community is an absolute NIGHTMARE.

My point is, being lgbt is getting worse and worse simply because of how we’re forced to sit and watch people make a mockery of us.

[fakecrfan]

[Star emoji] for the ask!

Okay the star emoji means I get to pickk any selection of any of my writing to talk about and I am going to pic Codependent Horror Entity Seeks Human. Specifically, the Basira section!

(I was also going to talk about the Melanie section because holy shit that has potential, but I am running low on energy so I decided to just pick one section. Still, if anyone has thoughts about MelanEye, I am like 👀)

Anyway, onto Basira!

Let me first say--why Basira/Eye  as opposed to another pairing? Well, I think that Basira is, in canon, the character who is the most guarded about showing any sort of tenderness or vulnerability. She has a quote about how her father couldn’t stand “whining” about your problems so you can see she’s internalized this idea that anything she suffers she has to keep completely private.

That makes her so good for the Eye to fall in love with. It would just, love to pry her open and see all of the vulnerability she hides from people. That’s the angle I was going for with her section.

she can feel that thing at the back of her head tingling, appropriating her own eyes to size her up in an intrusive, alien way, noting the softness of her skin and the angles of her cheekbones. It’s not a way Basira sizes herself up--not on her own, at least.

Hey you know that one Margaret Atwood quote about having a social perspective (in the quote, a male one) imprinted into you so that you are always sizing yourself up as though you are your own voyeur? Isn’t that such an Eye-horror quote? Anyway this bit was inspired by that.

Basira doesn’t think of herself in a vulnerable, feminine way. The Eye’s perception of her sort of fucks directly with her self concept by turning her into an object of desire. It’s--she brushes it off, but it’s a subtle kind of violation that does a lot of damage.

(Just like Basira isn’t beautiful, she’s not someone who shakes or cries when people throw things at her.)

Again, Basira’s self-concept is reliant on her seeing herself as tough, as someone who doesn’t whine. It’s not an entirely healthy self-concept!

Jon is worse than Melanie, though. Not violent. Not irrational. Just  concerned.  

Jon was especially fun to write in this scenario. In Martin + Tapes classic his eye brainrot manifests as obsession and hyperfixation and inability to comprehend boundaries. But this is Jon in s4, when he wants to connect with people, when he wants to be a good friend and build bridges.

But Basira’s self-concept relies on her not sharing her hurts, so that makes Jon--to her perception--scarier than Melanie.

“What happened?” he asks.

“Melanie. Scissors nicked me."’ [...] Basira got control of her tongue again. “Stop that.”

Ahhhhh yes, Jon using his compelling powers to get Basira to open up about feelings. This was especially fun to write because I have been imagining the scenario of “using compelling powers to force someone to open up emotionally” since the beginning of my time in fandom. Mostly because it has great angst potential, especially for someone who is so averse to talking about things.

“You’ll feel better when you talk about it,” he says. Like he’s doing her a favor

Jon genuinely feels like he’s helping here! He genuinely sees that Basira is hurt, closed off, and alone. He correctly intuits that she could start feeling better if she talked to someone. He would probably feel these things anyway--in canon he tries to get her to communicate better--but this is where the Eye Brainrot sets in, and turns that genuine friendship feeling into an obsessive desire to know, even if by force.

she curls up on the cot, shaking in a way Melanie hadn’t managed to get her to.

The emotional intimacy, Jon knowing things about Basira’s hurts that she never wanted to share is legitimately more upsetting to Basira than outright violence.

Her phone buzzes. Martin, the screen says. Martin, who refuses to be in the same room with any of them, or respond to any of their texts. Except Basira.

(Not in the text , but I imagine in this AU Martin tries to balance the new Basira caretaking obsession with his Peter Lukas work. So he still isn’t there most of the time, and he ends up showing his affection and concern by ordering Basira takeout and coffee on Lukas’s card. He tries not to text too often.

This leads Basira to think Martin is less compromised than he is.)

  I was always safe with Daisy.

Outside Jon stops knocking and jiggling the doorknob. Quiet. As though he’s had an idea.

Jon is 100% going to bring Daisy back as a courting gift. And then Daisy is going to end up signing the contract. After that, Basira will be completely surrounded--and completely alone.

(Anyway what I am saying is if anyone has thoughts about this or another Basira AU I am like 👀)

[crossdressingdeath]

You know, as someone who is gay and has... more experience in abusive relationships than I ever wanted... hearing people talk about how unhealthy WangXian is upsetting. I know I can’t speak for everyone, but in my opinion WangXian is something more queer people need to see. And people calling it abusive when it isn’t is actually counterproductive when you think about it.

Like, I’ve had to play the guessing game of “Do my friends and family have a legit reason to be concerned, or are they secretly homophobic?”. Not a very fun game. You already have people online saying that gay relationships are sinful/toxic just by existing. Just seeing people misinterpret canonically gay couples as toxic/unhealthy just because the relationships isn’t perfect is going to make people not take actual claims on legitimate toxic/unhealthy fictional couples seriously.

I’ve seen so many people try to say that WangXian is either toxic or a stereotypical yaoi couple, and I just think “are we reading the same novel? what translation are you reading?”.

“Forced Gender Roles/Het Coding” – you mean how LWJ typically does more feminine chores, while WWX is more skilled/knowledgeable with traditionally masculine chore? Like in his dream, where LWJ is literally a housewife while his a busy husband?

“Stereotypical Seme/Uke dynamic” – not even mentioning the fact this isn’t yaoi (it’s danmei) and therefore, theydon’t really fit that genre, I really doubt it? Like, WWX is the one who decides nearly everything in the relationship. Regardless of what LWJ wants, he won’t push WWX into anything. In fact, WWX has to encourage LWJ to talk about what he wants/likes. Really, thinking about, WWX is kind of the one in charge.

LWJ might have WWX beat in terms of pure physical strength, but if you think LWJ could win in a fight without WWX letting him, then you clearly haven’t been paying attention. May I remind you, without golden core, WWX took on multiple armies? And the one that killed him only won because he let them. They technically didn’t even kill him! MXY’s body means WWX has a golden core now - he’s not as strong physically but he can work on that - he’s still stronger in every other aspect. It’s basically impossible for LWJ to overpower him.

“Rape/Noncon” - Where? There are two moments where LWJ crosses boundaries... but only one of those moments is an actual boundary crossed. Every other intimate moment that happens, LWJ makes certain that WWX is actually enjoying himself and consenting.

The infamous kiss. A lot of people misinterpret this as something the author threw in because it was “hot”. In actuality, this kiss is important for multiple reasons. While WWX isn’t upset by this kiss, LWJ clearly is. This moment is what causes LWJ to stop trying to force WWX to go back to CR with him – it’s this moment that makes him realize if he continues down this path, he will end up like his parents. This moment is the start of major character growth for LWJ, allowing him to become a better man, one that WWX can actually love wholeheartedly without any regrets. It’s this moment where he decides that he can’t just take little things from WWX anymore - he has to try a different approach to help him, and accept that WWX might never feel the same way (obviously he’s wrong). Like, the impact this has is huge, and it’s another reason why LWJ refuses to mention his feelings to WWX - he doesn’t want to force him ever again. So he won’t. Not even by having WWX agree to be with him out of graditude.

The other boundary crossed is when LWJ spanks WWX during sex. The narration makes it very clear at that moment that it’s not okay, that WWX is uncomfortable and doesn’t like it. And it stops, LWJ moves from it after some nudging from WWX. After the event, they have a serious talk where WWX makes it very clear that while he enjoys a lot of things, LWJ can’t do that ever again of he wants to continue being with WWX. LWJ could have argued, could have said that since they were under the influence of the incense burner, he shouldn’t be blamed for his actions. Instead, he swears never to do anything like that ever again.

This is so important! The message this sends is so important! This whole scene is saying that, no matter what kinks you might have or how kinky you are, your boundaries deserve to be respected. You don’t have to do something you’re uncomfortable with just because you’re kinky and your partner likes it. How can anyone read that and think it’s supporting rape?

Also... if I’m being honest... I actually thought CQL had a more stereotypical Seme/Uke dynamic than the novel. WWX is so much weaker and less observant/cunning... couple that with the fact the he’s not only not even a little guilty of his crimes but he’s actually made into a poor victim with lot of fainting into LWJ’s arms... yeah, he comes across much more like a uke than in the novel. LWJ is also so much more of a stereotypical overprotective seme too. Then there’s the whole thing lack of consent someone else mentioned, with how WWX forces LWJ to drink/how LWJ tricks WWX into marrying him (so he literally did the thing his father did that the fandom finds so unforgivable?). I like CQL, but a huge chunk of those fans are kind of obnoxious and toxic... and hypocritical I guess.

So, I just wanted to rant after seeing so many posts on this topic. I’m just really annoyed. I don’t even know if this makes any sense.

That is an excellent point re CQL. I’ve thought about how they weakened WWX and dumbed him down (presumably to make him more of a victim), but not how that affects his dynamic with LWJ. Also I do want to acknowledge that there is dubcon in the novel; the first time they have sex LWJ is drunk to start and we don’t know when exactly he sobered up. But like... that’s not exactly uncommon in romance novels. And the show has WWX forcing LWJ to get drunk against his will and LWJ marries WWX without his knowledge or consent, which... really isn’t better, especially as the novel does have discussion about how what they did was kind of a mess with consequences and them having to discuss it, which the show... doesn’t. In fact the novel takes consent as a far more important thing than the show does to the point of it being a central theme that the show lacks.

Yeah, I have to say that people insisting that Wangxian (specifically novel Wangxian) is super unhealthy feels like the double whammy of “Ewwwwww gay people who aren’t unrealistically perfect” and “Ewwwwwwwww a woman writing gay romance”. I mean, I seriously doubt that if one of them was a girl and/or the story was written by a dude and nothing else changed people would react anywhere near as vehemently towards it. Like... it seems interesting that the version people are insisting is healthier is the censored idol drama where they aren’t actually in a relationship and the people in charge mostly seem to be men, that’s all I’m saying.

[rivetgoth]

I had this friend I met in the Hetalia fandom in like 8th-9th grade who was like, a lot older than me (I was like 12-13 when we met and she was like 17 or so), and we were REALLY close for a really long time, we'd talk and call every day and it got to a point where she was really dependent on me in this awful way where she would like constantly threaten suicide if I didn't answer her texts fast enough and shit like that. She was really rich cuz her dad was a doctor and one time she bought me an entire fucking Xbox One (I did not ask for it like... I'd always been a PlayStation gamer LOL) because she didn't have anyone to play Halo with her. My family still has it and uses it as a DVD player/Netflix machine.

Anyway the really batshit thing about this person (BESIDES the fact that she was like, definitely a pedophile who loved shota and frequently sexted me after she'd turned 18+ and I was like 14 and she also had both a bestiality and incest fetish that she'd talk to me about constantly — I was a kid I had no moral concept of anything and just liked being edgy and feeling mature) was that she was like. A chronic liar who constantly faked identities. And for years after cutting off contact with her I would look back and realize that she had faked even more than I had noticed at the time. The thing is, I knew for sure she wasn't lying about her home life -- Her address, what she looked like, her dad's profession, her age, her house, her pets, etc, were all things I had proof of. But when I knew her she was constantly remaking her Tumblr to escape drama she'd start, and she would constantly make side blogs under pseudonyms and pretend it wasn't her (sometimes it would be random shit like aesthetic blogs under different names or ask blogs for characters or smthn, other times it was like, callout blogs for people she had gotten into drama with where she would pretend to be someone else defending her). I assumed back then that I was always going to be in on it, because she would always tell me whenever she made one of these fake accounts, and sometimes she would encourage me to make a new account too as a sort of roleplay thing where we both pretended to be people we weren't... Until I learned that she wasn't always telling me. Every so often, I would become mutuals with a new account who would start messaging me about my interests and strike a conversation with me. Then something would slip and my "new mutual" would admit that they had actually been my friend all along... Which should have made me immediately cut contact because that's weird as shit, but I was young and she was a close friend, so I would just sorta accept it.

She ended up being like, horrifically transphobic. She got run off her blog twice for being specifically transmisogynistic, first insisting that she was allowed to headcanon canon trans women as feminine men and then on her next blog insisting that lesbians couldn't be attracted to trans women. I was still young and closeted and she was one of my closest friends and was constantly messaging me that the situation was making her suicidal and she was just wording things wrong and totally supported trans people and people just weren’t giving her the benefit of the doubt and she was still learning so I tried to just stay out of it without losing her. Then... I came out as trans lol. She stopped replying to me when I first came out and then made a bunch of vents on her tumblr about how much it upset her and about how “using he/him pronouns for AFAB people is triggering” for whatever fucking reason. She told me her “best IRL friend” who she had introduced me to once on Skype but who never logged in again after and who refused to ever do a group call or anything (definitely another fake account) said that it was irrational for me to expect my friends to respect my pronouns so soon after coming out and that I shouldn’t be upset if I get misgendered. Then she apologized but told me my name and pronouns would never fit me. As you can imagine, as a little baby trans kid who was closeted from my family and terrified of even having come to terms with being trans, I didn’t really have a great defense.

Soon she started being really woke like 2014 style Tumblr SJW to save face, she came out as nonbinary and told me in private it was because she felt bad when people called her cis during discourse (she absolutely wasn't nonbinary) and she coined a "new sexuality" that was "attraction only to people you perceive as feminine, regardless of how they identify" -- what this actually meant was "attraction to cis women and not trans women." She ran an aroace help blog despite not being aroace? And made a bunch of pride flags that I still see around sometimes to this day. She would start fights a lot and try to out-woke people and got into a bunch of drama with other SJW types of the day, got into a bunch of drama with TumblrInAction and Mogai-Watch and shit like that, and she claimed for a short while that she had a headmate (FWIW I totally believe DID is a legitimate thing but like. Trust me on this one.) who was transphobic and that it made her so sad, she told me that it was actually that headmate that had been transphobic before, and every so often her headmate would front out of nowhere and misgender me and use really abusive language like calling me a cunt or a bitch or whatever. She started making these "intersex nonbinary" OCs who she would constantly make porn of under the guise that they were representation for LGBT people who were just like, extremely fetishistic cuntboys and dickgirls (they were “intersex” to explain why they could be “girls with natal penises” or “boys with natal vaginas”).

At that same time, she somehow always managed to have these random, very sporadically active trans women mutuals who were apparently amazing friends of hers, who shared some interests with her but also would defend her when people brought up her past, with these long-winded “Well, I’m a trans woman and I think what she said is perfectly justified and everyone makes mistakes and she’s always been a good ally!!” Then one day some trans woman received an ask from her account where she claimed to be a “black trans woman” (she was, of course, a white cis woman) and she freaked out and claimed she had “been hacked by TiA or 4Chan to make her look bad” — I realize now she had just been sending anon messages pretending to be things she wasn’t and forgot to hit anon LOL. Late in all of this she also got into a bunch of hot water for being really antisemitic and saying she didn’t trust Jewish people because they were just like Christians and like, 5 seconds later she came out as Jewish and wrote this whole long sad vent about how she had had internalized antisemitism and then started going by a random Hebrew name LMAO.

In the end the final breaking point was when I found her secret TERF blog, where she had been making posts for months about how trans men are just insecure women who are trying to escape misogyny by stepping on the backs of “fellow women” and using me as a fucking example, and also saying that me not coming out as a trans man had been “basically rape” since she had been SEXTING me when she was 18+ and I was 13-14+ and that it was traumatic to know someone she had trusted was secretly identifying as a man LMAO. She was also obviously saying all sorts of transmisogynistic things, but also had these really bizarre fetish posts about wanting trans women to fuck her...? I confronted her about it and she literally fucking out of nowhere told me that she was in the emergency room with a mysterious illness that might kill her and she was allowed to have her phone but due to privacy laws couldn’t send a picture as proof. While “in the hospital” she deleted the TERF blog and her personal blog. I had known her for literal YEARS at this point (we had met when I was 12-13 or so and by the time we no longer spoke I was a few months from 17), and I was completely stunned to fucking hear this person trying to pull “I’m in the hospital with a deadly disease” at being confronted for some shit like that LMAO. I made a post about it on my public and another “trans woman friend” of hers logged in to vehemently defend her by saying that there’s nothing wrong with AFAB women being untrusting of trans people because female oppression is uniquely traumatic and that there’s nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality by sexting minors as long as the minor consents and that I was the real predator for “hiding that I was a man” (remember, I’d been a 13 year old closeted trans boy), before never logging in again... 😭 One of the last times we ever talked was when she demanded I refund her for the fucking Xbox and I refused.

Anyway, the long-term aftermath of that is that a few people online (in some random cringe areas of the internet) who archived some of her antics still think that I also wasn’t a real person, since they caught onto how much she lied about too, so they think I was also a sock puppet and I have no interest in clarifying and making myself known to those people LOL. I have no fucking idea where she is now, she deactivated everything after her being a TERF came out. There’s like, so much more to that I could say because I knew her for YEARS and, like I said, she was one of my “closest friends.” Her parents had wildly expensive pure bred designer dogs that she would make Vines of. She wrote Beatles real person fan fiction. For her birthday one year I made her a shirt on Zazzle with an inside joke about one of her OCs... does she still have that? Either way, she was easily the most batshit person I’ve ever known closely online and I will forever associate the Hetalia fandom with people like that.

[wildcreationmagic]

Nozel x Oc

Past to Present chapter 3

NOTE: (Y/n) changed to Ophelia

WARNING: Mild suggestive content, some angst

While waiting to hear back from the Captains you finally get ready to face up to  figures of your supposed past.

“Rhya!?” You call out his name giving a sigh placing a hand on your forehead to gaze against the light of the sun. Looking for this man was like finding a four leaf clover. A gentle warm wind blows the white fabric of your skirt about as you turn scanning the area. Spotting a head of white hair by a stream you huff and march over stopping with your hands on your hips as your shadow is cast over the sunbathing elf. “Rhya.” You repeat softer but still firm yourself as finally a gold eye cracks open.

“Huh, I’m surprised you could block the sun out like that given how short you are Ophelia.” Grinning his eye closes again seeing it is just you and you shake your head walking up to the rock he is propped against.

“Rhya.” You huff warningly and he chuckles.

“What? I’m just saying, being that short Patolli is going to outgrow you any day now.” You cross your arms and lean down in Rhya’s face a bit as he keeps his eyes closed.

“Very funny Rhya, now get up. You promised Charla to help.” Reaching you attempt to yank him up as a soft snore comes from him. He has to be joking! “Rhya, I swear if you don’t- ah!”

About to yank him again you’re tugged down and straddling his lap as he opens an eye again with a smug grin. “Aw do I get a kiss?”

Making a face you are nose to nose with him practically and turn your tinted cheeks away . “I’m going to ignore that horrible joke of yours-!”

“Who said I was joking?” Grinning and bobbing his eyebrows you roll your eyes leaning away back on your heels rolling your eyes. Still able to feel the heat of your blush to the tips of your ears.

“I’m not just here for you Rhya, you promised Charla you’d help her today!”

Blinking he thinks and scratches his head a bit. “Huh, was that today? My bad, say was she able to get along okay without me?”  Lazy lidded eyes stare at you as a yawn passes his lips making you inhale deeply through your nose to keep yourself from doing so as well.

“No, because she needs your help to get it done. You promised you’d help her, she has spent the past hour looking for you!”

Bored the white haired elf leans back against the rock putting his hands behind his head. “If she spent that long looking for me then she could have had the chore done by now. Say why doesn’t she get Vetto to help or something?”

Arms crossed you watch him clearly unimpressed. “She would have had one of the other men help, but everyone else is busy. Everyone except you Rhya.”

“Aw, don’t be so harsh Oph. I do work. When I have to, besides I am working. I’m thinking.” Stretching his arms above his head he smiles sleepily and you glance away flustered.

“And what are you thinking about so hard that you can’t help today?”

“Well, I was wondering if it is possible for us to be reborn after this life. Not that I’d want to, but I wonder if we’d come back as elves yet. What would happen if we were reborn as humans instead?”

Surprised you slowly shift so you’re not straddling his legs anymore watching Rhya in a bout of unease coming over you. Gold eyes on you he tips his head seeing if you’ll respond. “Why, I mean what makes you think about something like that?”

Uncomfortable you turn your head away making Rhya sit up a bit more in concern. “I mean, it’s a legitimate question. I wonder if you’d still be short as you are now if you were a human.” You know he is attempting to make you feel better, but…

Frowning you could see him leaning forward to try and catch a glimpse of your face as you sigh. Head tipping down a bit with some of your hair forming a curtain between you and his gaze. “I just don't like thinking about that or talking about it. The thought scares me.”

Hand in his hair Rhya sighs shaking his head with a lopsided smile on his lips. “You worry too much, what scares you about this? Not everyday you get a chance at new life.” Reaching he pushes some of your blonde locks out of your face to reveal your worried profile.

Brows furrowed as you let out a sigh and lace your fingers together to stop their shaking. “What if, let's say I get reborn. Is that person really me? They look like me and act similar, but would they really be me? How do you know it’s not just someone who looks like me?” Turning towards Rhya a bit more he gives a thoughtful grin. Before you know it you're wrapped in his arms pulled to the taller elf’s chest. Surprised you glance up with teary blue eyes.

“Even without your memories you’d be yourself yet. Besides I don’t think anyone could act quite like you, especially putting up with me.” Grinning down at you he may be lazy, but when it counted Rhya was there for others he cares about.

Neither of you say anything until a sharp feminine voice is heard. “There he is!” Whirling you see Charla and Licht walking over, with Charla looks understandably upset. Licht’s expression is pleasant as ever as he smiles at the two of you.

“Rhya, Ophelia there you are. Charla told me you went to help her look for Rhya, but we didn’t expect to find you together.” Chuckling a bit you get out of said elf’s lap and flush glancing away.

“I- was! It’s just someone distracted me with his nonsense.” Trying to scowl at Rhya he places a hand over his heart.

“See what I have to deal with Licht? She is so mean it hurts.”

Walking up beside you Charla crosses her arms giving Rhya a piece of her mind. “If you don’t get up you will be hurting!”

Glancing up at her timidly you whisper softly. “Charla, it’s alright. More my fault I didn’t make him get up.” Eyes on you she smirks a little giving a nudge.

“You’re too soft on him Ophelia. Why do you let him get away with so much? Perhaps if you like him that much why don’t we arrange a wedding after Licht and Tetia get married.” Arms relaxing as she teases you blush hiding your crimson face.

Holding up a hand Licht gets the attention of all three of you. “Now don’t tease (Y/n) too much Charla.”

Head turning up, Rhya yawns and blinks lazily watching Licht. ‘Hey Licht, mind giving me a hand? Suppose I can’t get out of it now.” Glancing at Charla with an exhausted expression as a hand is offered to him.

Taking it Rhya grins at Licht as he helps the other up, making you shake your head. When you try to get him up you get pulled down, but of course he would accept it from one of his closest friends. Another yawn as Rhya sighs at Charla. “Okay, what do I have to do?”

In no time Charla is already practically dragging Rhya along, not letting him slack off again talking about how useless some men are making you chuckle as Licht smiles. The two of you heading back to the elven village and a youthful voice calls out for Licht.

Patolli bounding to the other side of you as he makes a grumpy face. “Did you find him?! I bet he was just sitting around doing nothing!”  Licht smiles, shaking his head.

“Rhya was thinking a bit, Patolli. I think he and Ophelia just got distracted when she looked for him. You know how he is.”

“More like he distracted her from getting him with his nonsense!” Glancing at Patolli you gently shake your head.

“No it’s fine. It’s my fault really, I just got a bit… lost thinking about what Rhya said.” Noticing your change in demeanor Licht’s gold eyes watch you in concern.

“Is everything alright Ophelia? You seemed a little upset when Charla and I arrived.” Licht’s gentle voice beside you keeps you at ease and the panic from surfacing.

Walking beside him you glance down slightly, and a hand is placed on your shoulder gently reassuring you. “Rhya was just thinking about if we could be reborn as humans ever. I… got scared. I still am, it scares me thinking about if that would really be me yet. The thought of supposedly living another life, but having no memory of before isn’t really me is it?”

On the other side Patolli is watching you and Licht worried with such a seemingly heavy topic having upset you. Gently grabbing onto your hand and you give a grateful glance to him as Licht speaks regaining your attention.

“I think no matter what you remember or don’t, in the new life you are still you. The thing that matters is that your soul is there, that is what makes you no matter how you look or act. It’s what makes all of us who we are.”  With a smile bright as the sun it is impossible not to smile back and even Patolli is grinning a bit nodding at Licht’s words.

“Thank you Licht. I hope I didn’t bother you with worrying over something so silly.” Giving a sheepish smile at him the elven leader shakes his head.

“Not at all, we are all family. It’s only natural we help one another…” Words muffling you can’t make out the next bit that is said as you, Patolli and Licht keep walking. The colors and smells fade as well with the image.

~

Waking up you blink and grunt a little still groggy. The sound of growling outside reaches your ears as you realize that must have woke you up.

Your wolves.

Sitting up abruptly at this realization you toss off your covers without a second thought as your white nightgown swivels around your ankles. Grabbing your grimoire you fasten the belt slipping on some shoes and you rush out your bedroom door hearing your father, his voice sleepy having been woken by your wolves as well. Asking you to see what they are upset about. This isn’t anything new, occasionally your wolves would alert you to something outside and you’d go check. They are your spell after all, and you’re the only one in the family who can fight with your magic.

Stepping outside the beta, Fenrir, is in the front of the others with his hackles raised and teeth gleaming in the moonlight. If it had been a bandit the culprit would have ran off by now and your wolves in hot pursuit, but this is different. This time they are simply staring at the trees near your home growling while staying close and at your appearance two wolves flank you on each side as you move up to Fenrir gently putting a hand on the large canine’s head.

“Fenrir what’s wrong?” Speaking gently to the wolf he didn’t move his eyes from the treeline ahead and you frown something is clearly bothering them. Deciding not to use your communication spell you walk forward with the small pack moving out to flank you with their appropriate positions, and Fenrir stays close ready to defend need be. Entering the trees you think it could just be some wild animals. They are wolves and rely on instinct to an extent. You’re almost about to shrug it off as that until you sense mana, and  the amount is almost suffocating, but you continue until you start to see two figures in a small clearing in the grove of trees. Their eyes exactly where you are in the shadows of the trees and carefully you step into the clearing recognizing Rhya. Or the man that calls himself Rhya, even if his hair and eye color was different from your dream you can’t shake the uncanny familiarity between the two.

However your eyes don’t stay on him for long, wandering to the figure next to him wearing robes like Rhyas except the fact they are worn correctly and perhaps a little more elaborate. Studying him you notice he also has red markings on his face framing on the outer part of his eyes is a red crescent shape with three buds and a dot above each eye where his eyebrows should be. Unlike Rhya his eyes are an all too familiar gold making your palms start to sweat. Even though hair is braided back into several long extensions you’re certain he is the same man.

Softly you breathe out his name even if your focus is on the other figure. “Rhya.” The stranger inclines his head letting a smile graze his lips. “What are you doing here, I thought I told you to leave me alone, I'm not whoever you’re looking for.” Upon your words the other man turns to Rhya for an explanation.

Rhya yawns drawing your attention back to the sleepy man. “Well Licht, looks like we didn’t have to draw her out, she came out on her own. Though I don’t like the way these wolves are eyeing us.” As your anxiety peeks hearing Licht you hear a snarl from your wolves.

You’ve had your wolves circle around them out of caution and are reacting to how you’re feeling, being you’re partly controlling or willing them yet they are in tune with you. Tails tucked and ears pinned their glowing green eyes making them look intimidating as their teeth gleam in the moonlight.

Head turning Licht allows his eyes to leave you a moment to speak to Rhya. “Don’t say things that may startle her Rhya, it is clear she is scared not knowing what is going on.” Gold eyes land back on you as he raises a hand holding it palm up in a friendly gesture. “Ophelia, it’s good to see you again face to face. When I first learned about you it came as quite the surprise so of course I had to come see you. You do remember us don’t you?”

Yes you do remember him from the dream, but this familiar feeling with someone who is  a stranger once more is driving you insane. You shouldn’t know either of them, you’ve never met them  Swallowing you shake your head side to side once throat tight. “No.”

Yawning with a hand over his mouth Rhya watches you with tired dark eyes yawning again. “Eeeuuu-aahh, that's a lie.”

Startled by Rhya’s claim you gaze at him wide eyed in shock, how did he know that? No he couldn’t-.

“That’s a shame.” The gentle voice of the other man, Licht, gains your full attention once more. “Rhya told me you acted like you never met him.” His golden eyes on you are full of sadness. “It must be true if you have forgotten about his ability to tell when someone is lying.”

His tone isn’t accusing, simply gentle and soothing. Enough to make you drop your guard a little even if your nerves are making you sick. About to speak Rhya’s tired voice drifts over instead. “You say you don’t know us, but are you really sure about that? Not even a dream where you knew us?”

Your breathing increases and you can’t help it, eyes glimmering with shock. Recognition of his words making you take a step back. Your wolves respond to Rhya’s questions with low growls as they draw a bit closer to the threat, but in turn you have them fall back by your sides warily. You may be scared, but you don’t want to hurt anyone because of it.

“I’m sure-” your voice trembles as fear causes it to crack. “I’ve never met you before- this is the only life I’ve lived!” Lips trembling you let out a shaky breath watching them as the two exchange a glance and Rhya closes his eyes with a slight smile.

“That’s another lie.” Rhya yawns as Licht takes over much to his relief.

“You really haven’t changed.” A small smile of refeif plays on his lips. “Even though you’ve been raised by humans you are the same as ever. Looks like your fears of changing should you be reborn were unnecessary.”

Shocked he mentions something from the dream you recoil a little as your eyes tell them all they need to know. Gold eyes closing Licht tips his head down speaking softly yet. “I won’t bother you anymore tonight, I just had to see with my own eyes it was you. Even if you don’t remember us right now remember we are family, and we always take care of our own.”

Listening to him there is little you can say about that as he smiles gently. Exactly like from your dreams as his attention turns to his companion beside him.

“We don’t want to scare her more, Rhya. It would be best if we leave for now and let her think about what we’ve said. Allow Ophelia to come to her own terms with this.” Attention turning to you again his words are welcoming and inviting. “If you ever need us we will be more than glad to help you Ophelia. That’s what a family does.”  You hardly blink and in a blinding flash of light Licht is gone making you gasp eyes wide.

He’s a light mage?!

“Aw man, he didn’t take me with him. What a pain.” Sighing Rhya stretches his arms over his head. “Oh, well guess I should get going though.” Lips turning up, he gives a halfhearted smile at you tipping his head.

“I know this may be hard for you to believe, and you’re probably scared, but we both know that those dreams are something more than you want to accept. Just think about it, kay?” Falling backwards a portal opens behind him and closes the moment he falls through leaving you alone with your wolves. Rhya’s words resonating through your head.

Crouching for a moment you wrap your arms around the nearest wolf as you bury your face into it’s fur. Eyes shut tightly taking a breath until you rise up again heading back to the house with a stoic expression. Your mind and emotions go a mile a minute trying to process everything that's happened as you slowly return to your room falling into a restless sleep.

~

The next day you wake exhausted, right away your mind already thinking of the meeting that happened last night and what was said. You can’t get it out of your head even when your parents ask if you’re alright. Of course you tell them your fine, it isn’t like you can just say you may have been an elf. The next question is about your wolves last night and again you have to lie, brushing it off that they were just restless thinking they saw something.

Everyone gets ready to work for the day your sister and mom head into town while your dad goes off to a field aways away from the house. Leaving you at home, but that was fine. If anyone was around that would just lead to more possible questions and more lies. The weight of such already making your steps feel heavy taking your first steps outside as Fenrir and his pack trot beside you. Their large bodies are surprisingly light and limber compared to how you feel right now.

Going about your routine you give a heaving sigh lifting the four tined hay fork to heave the last of the hay over the fence to the lone bull in a smaller portion of the pasture. Mimicking your movements, to an extent, the bear you summoned reinforces your strength as you huff lowering the fork and sticking it in a nearby bale. Petting the bear’s brown fur it’s glowing green eyes bore into you as you dispel it, and once you do the bull slowly comes over. Snorting and bowing his head to where the bear just was, pawing the ground with a front hoof still wary as you shake your head. Looking up from the spot they were napping your wolves yawn and get up following you once more. Grabbing a bucket and trowel heading back a fair distance from the house as you sit at the edge of the potato patch.

Gesturing with an arm you use your mana to will and control your wolves telling them to dig a bit. Pawing a little at first they get the point starting to scrape away dirt and uncover some of the buried spuds. Loosening some of the dirt around the plant you set the trowel down and pull up on the stalk. Tearing it from the ground and with it some potatoes with it. Plucking them from the roots you brush any extra dirt off and place them in the bucket before proceeding to dig using the small shovel to root around to make sure none were left behind.

Hearing a couple whines you look up and chuckle shaking your head. “Okay, okay I’ll get there.” Each of the wolves are sitting in front of the plant they dug up as you pull the stalk up removing your bounty. Digging in the loose dirt to make sure none is missed as you repeat the process with the other wolves and have them go dig up some more while you work on another yourself.

Yanking on a stalk you grunt, palms slipping on the rough fibers of the plant as it doesn’t come up yet. “Ugh, come on.” Another tug and it still doesn’t come up leaving sweat dripping down your forehead. It is hot enough and hard enough to do any work in this heat, you didn’t need this! Behind you a faint rustling is heard and as you glance back your wolves growl in defence at whatever is moving in the tall grass.

Rolling out of the grass now you let out a scream yanking the stalk you held yet in your hurry to shuffle backwards, and it flies out making you fall on your bottom. Gasping as clods of dirt rain down on you, heart still racing from the shock of someone else popping out of the grass.

Cracking your eyes open you see Rhya who rubs his eyes watching you. “You’re awful noisy Ophelia.” Yawning he blinks looking at your expression and grins. “Aw I didn’t mean to scare you. I know I’m not the best looking man, but I don’t think I look that bad.”

The wolves bristle and growling at him and you calm them down using your mana to make them ease off as your eyes never leave Rhya’s. Taking several deep breaths to calm your trembling body, both in exhaustion and leftover adrenaline from the shock of him popping up out of nowhere. Finally you speak after what seems like ages, surprising yourself and him with your exasperated tone. “What were you doing in the grass!?”

Grinning he props and elbow up with his palm under the side of his head. “It looked like a nice spot to nap so I did.”

A little wary of him yet you give a long look and finally close your eyes shaking your head at him in disbelief. The action felt almost natural. “You’re impossible, besides it’s too hot to just sit in the sun comfortably.” Brushing the last of the dirt from your hair you go back to work with his tired eyes on you.

“So you’re talking to me now?” You roll your eyes at the smug note, blue eyes scanning over your wolves a moment. They are calmer and laying down panting heavily from the heat, not that you blame them.

“Well, you aren’t going away anytime soon it seems like. Besides I’m trying to get this done so I can rest.” Sitting back on your heels you wipe a few beads of sweat off gazing tiredly at the sun as the rays burn your skin.

“Oh, well I could help with that.” Stating it matter of factly you glance back raising an eyebrow of disbelief as he grins and snaps his fingers for some flare. Not even a second later dirt and potatoes rain down on you and your wolves. One of them being bopped on the nose making it shake it’s head.

“Ack! Rhya!” Shielding yourself you slowly lower your arms once the assault stops and sighs. “I just got the dirt out from when you scared me half to death.” Grumbling a little you go around collecting the unearthed potatoes.

“What? I helped you out, give a guy a break. We finally can have a good talk after how long and you’re already nagging me.”

Shaking your head you sigh a little. “I appreciate it, but you could have not had them land on top of me.” Finishing you kneel on the ground with a sigh using the back of your arm to wipe any excess sweat from your forehead. Your wolves are also panting heavily from the heat as Rhya sighs gazing upwards.

“Man, it’s hot today. Hey Ophelia how about you and I go into town for a drink?” Grinning at you he sits up tipping his head, the expression and phrase familiar as so many things have been with him.

“No, I have things to do yet. I don’t drink anyway.” Rubbing the back of his neck he heaves a sigh.

“I could have guessed, it was like that before too.”

“Besides, how do you know I don’t have a boyfriend or something?” Remembering from last night he could tell lies you word your sentence carefully making him raise a brow.

“You have a boyfriend? I find that hard to believe, not that you aren’t pretty- you’re gorgeous.Hearing this you pause, but try to seem busy.

“Well you don’t know I could.”

“Hm, alright. Then why hasn’t he been around?” Not bothered at all he lays back down arms behind his head cracking an eye open seeing your red face.

Huffing out a bit turning your head away sharply you reply. “Well, he could be busy is why. Not everyone can take it easy as you Rhya.”

Letting out a hum he watches you for quite some time and finally you can’t take it anymore. You don’t have anything to do distracting you from his gaze. “Oh, alright!” Amused he tips his head up while you continue. “I don’t have a boyfriend, I lied.” Cheeks burning you glance down at your hands curling them in your lap.

Chuckling he sits up yawning while his eyes crinkle smugly. “There we go. See I knew it would be the same, you’re all work as usual. You need to let yourself relax more.”

Sighing, you shake your head. “I can’t relax, I have to care for my family. Besides, I don’t even know if I can find someone.”

“You never know, they could be right in front of you and you just never noticed.” Rolling your eyes at his joke you press your lips in a line making him close his eyes in defeat. “Alright, alright. We don’t have to talk about it.” Holding his hands up he sighs heavily. “Say, you couldn’t get me a drink could you? This sun is killing me.”

Taking a few seconds as you nod gently standing up dusting your knees off as you go into the house grabbing a pitcher and glass. Drawing the water from the well you walk back over finding that Rhya has moved, but only to use one of your wolves as a pillow. “Weren’t you just complaining you’re hot?”

Ignoring your comment he keeps his eyes closed. “See, I knew you’d make a good wife.”

Half tempted to pour the pitcher on him you shrug it off, this man. “Here’s your glass.”

“Well I was hoping you would just pour it on me after saying that.”

“I was tempted, but then you’d be all wet, and your clothes would have to dry. I don’t think I’d be able to explain a man half naked in the house if anyone came home.” Pouring the water you hand the glass over as he takes it starting to take it as you feel a drop of water. Glancing up, and Rhya doing the same, you feel another on your nose noting the sky clouding over from the perfectly sunny day it had been.

In a matter of seconds the two drops turn into a downpour making you gasp as cold drops hit your body all at once soaking through your clothes. Glancing over you see Rhya mouth open head tipped back collecting the rainwater and you groan. “Rhya! Come on, you’re going to catch a cold!” Grabbing him you try to haul the man to his feet and thankfully he complies as the two of you run inside with your wolves taking cover as well.

Door slamming open you huff as the two of you stop once safely inside, dripping wet but at least out of the rain. “I’ll get a couple of towels, wait here-.”

Yelping as the rain lets loose in an all out downpour you scurry from the garden and yank Rhya up by his collar. Half asleep he doesn’t realize what is going on at first until you yell at him to run otherwise you’ll both be soaked and sickly. Getting to a grove of nearby trees the two of you huddle together and settle on the grass waiting out the rain. A slight shiver overtaking your body from the sudden chill of the air, and Rhya wraps his arms around you tightly. Smiling up at him you lean into his warm embrace as the two of you sit together waiting out the rain.

“Ophelia, are you okay?” A hand waving in front of your face you gasp and snap out of it. Replying you’re fine out of instinct even though you’re grabbing the side of the table to keep upright from shock. Watching your shoulders heave Rhya shakes his head, arms folding. “You sure don’t look alright, what happened?”

“I-I.... g-give me a minute.” Legs trembling you head into the bathroom grabbing two towels, but no matter how much time passes you can’t seem to shake the fear and shock. Returning with two towels you hand one to him drying your hair and clothes best you can sitting in a chair you pull out from the table. “I… think I remembered something. Has something like this happened to us before?”

Pausing Rhya lowers his arms and gives a gaze showing you he was indeed reminiscing about something similar. “Yeah, it has. You were worried about me getting soaked and sick then too.”

“I see.” Eyes lidding you drop your arms as well staring at the now soaked towel. The two of you watch one another in near silence as you slowly stand up walking towards Rhya who holds out his arms without a word, and embraces you as tears stream down your face realizing just how much you’ve forgotten.

~

The next day Rhya ends up popping out of nowhere as well, nearly making you fall out of the tree picking apples as you cling to the branch scowling at him. “Rhya, are you trying to kill me!?”

Chuckling he holds up his arms offering to help you down and you accept reluctantly. Hanging you brace yourself as you let loose on a count of three and land on top of Rhya toppling you both. You land on top of him nose to nose with a light blush tinting your cheeks as he grins.

“If you wanted a kiss all you had to do was ask.” Your eyes going wide despite your embarrassment you don’t recoil right away. Glancing away and sitting up apologizing slowly as a memory comes to you once again of a similar situation.

Falling from the tree you brace yourself, but the ground never comes. Instead you’re met with a firm chest and arms wrapped securely around you. Grinning down at you is Rhya as he chuckles softly giving you a little peck.

It was short like the flash of memory yesterday, but Rhya picks up on it and gently strokes your hair. “Did you remember something?”

“Yeah.” Humming in response he nods eyes closing arms behind his head now. “It’s still hard to believe, but I can’t keep denying it forever.”

“You’ll remember eventually, and we’ll be here for you every step of the way.” Grinning referring to Licht and himself you can’t help but give a small smile back feeling a little better.

“Thank you.”

~

Almost a week later you pause washing some dishes as Rhya was sitting at the table in the small kitchen, noticing you stop as he looks over. “Everything good?”

“I was wondering something.” Glancing down you dry your hands finishing the last dish, hands on the counter curling a bit before you take a breath facing him. “Rhya, am I really the same as before?” Face contorting in worry you watch him as his expression shifts from his normal sleepy one to one of gentle and thoughtful.

“If there was any doubt I think it should be cleared by that reaction. You remember when you worried about that before?” Walking over he places a large hand on your head. A little over a week ago he was a stranger you somehow knew, but now it is like you’ve known him your whole life. Which you have, one of them at least. Leaning into his touch feels so nice, so warm and familiar.

Facing his chest you speak into the fabric muffling your concern, but Rhya hears it all the same. “How can you be so sure that I’m… me? Or who you think I am?” Trembling you let out a shaky breath.

Sighing he shakes his head brushing a hand through his hair. “Aw, c’mon don’t do this to me. I’m not good at all this crying stuff.” Listening to him you mutter an apology to which he shakes his head. “You always were one to worry, but if you really want to know we can sense one another. Elves are connected to each other with an unbreakable bond. That’s how I knew you right away, and one of the reasons I was so familiar to you.”

Watching him with trembling eyes you are shocked yet relieved as you hug him tighter. “You don’t know how relieved I am. It really is like Licht told me that day, it’s my soul that determines who I am.”

Hearing you speak of Licht he is surprised but just enjoys the moment with you giving a gentle smile. “Yeah, exactly like Licht said.” Eyes closed if anyone was watching a lone tear would slip from an eye holding you all the tighter.

~

Yet another week has passed and still no word from the Magic Knight Captains. Internally you shrug it off finishing up watering the garden, having drawn several buckets from the well already. Per usual in the Clover Kingdom the sun is hot as you work under it’s sweltering rays, and having finally finished the last of your chores you retreat inside to the shade. Entering you get yourself a glass of water, and finish it in almost a matter of seconds. Inhaling deeply as you pull the glass from your lips taking in a breath of relief, at least you’re cooled down a little bit. Hearing a rustle in the other room you pause and peek around the corner, giving a mildly amused expression shaking your head.

“Here you are. I was wondering why you didn’t bother me yet, you always seem to get lucky with my family not being here.” Cracking open an eye he grins lazily at you stifling a yawn.

“Nah, I can tell when they are coming back no need to worry about old Rhya.” Stretching he moves his feet so you can sit down, which you do gratefully with a heaving sigh. “Hard day?”

Head leaning back, your eyes flutter open glancing over at him somewhat exasperated- especially as his legs fall over your lap sprawling over most of the couch again. “What do you think?” Too tired you let your body sink into the cushions.

Only getting a half asleep hum and you give yourself a few moments to relax…

~

Straddling Rhya’s waist you smile and kiss his lips softly as golden eyes open gazing at you fondly. A smile curling up on his lips as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind your pointed ears. A large hand trailing down your back and hip to rest on your thigh for a moment. Rough fingers brushing along the bare skin between the slits of your dress, and in turn you lean forward slipping your hands under the top of his robe slipping it down his shoulders.

Lips parting as the two of you take a few breaths staring at one another, his deep honey gold staring into your gentle blues. Eyes fluttering closed as his face draws closer you feel your lips touch once again, while your fingertips caress his jawline slowly tangling into the base of his snowy white hair. In turn you feel a hand come up cupping the side of your face as his thumb strokes your cheek deepening the kiss as your bodies slowly mold to one another.

~

Rousing from your sleep you blush stretches from cheek to cheek from the dream you had, you and Rhya had been-. Feeling a body shift under you your eyes flick to his face as realization dawns on you. You had fallen asleep and ended up resting your head on his thigh- oh no. Face redder than ever you don’t get a chance to sit up as his eyes crack open gazing directly into yours.

“Well I don’t know about you, but I had a nice dream.~” Grinning down at you as you sit up huffing and looking away embarrassed trying to blow it off.

“I don’t know what dream you’re talking about, but it surely wasn’t the same as whatever you’re thinking!”

Chuckling his lips part until a small portal opens as an owl flies in and five letters whack into his face swooping out another small portal after dropping the delivery off. Rhya gives what you assume is a muffled ‘ow’ as he plucks a letter off his face raising an eyebrow. “Someone sure is important.”  Teasingly grinning at you it seems the previous conversation is forgotten as you gather the letters off him, and he sits up yawning, placing a hand on his head gazing at the letters.

“It’s the letters from the Captains I was told to expect.” Glancing over them sure enough there was one from each of the Captains; Black Bulls, Silver Eagles, Crimson Lion Kings, and the Golden Dawn.

“Well it sure took them long enough.” He leans closer to you glancing over them and you shrug in return.

“They are Captains, so one can only assume they’re busy. I almost didn’t expect a response.” Finally getting over the shock this happened you turn your attention to Rhya holding a fifth letter.

“Hey, you missed one.” Holding it out so you could read your eyes go wide you missed one, but that isn’t the issue! This one was from the Wizard King!

Deciding to read his first you open it not expecting what you find.

Dear Ophelia, I’m so excited to have heard about you from not only one, but four of my Magic Knight Captains! I hear you have a unique kind of Magic and I would be most interested to see it in action! Being that all four Captains would like you on their squad I must insist you come to the Capital and discuss with me on joining our ranks! If you don’t want to join the Magic Knights though there is of course always a position to work for me, I’m sure Marx my assistant would appreciate it greatly! Apologies for not getting these letters out sooner, the Captains have been very busy since returning from Carney…

Chuckling a bit baffled, you read the rest of the letter as he asks about your magic, what it can do, limits and various other questions giving him a child-like curiosity. You’d reply after reading the rest of the letters, and perhaps you should reply to the Wizard King first telling the Captains you’d be in the capital seeing him…

P.S. I heard you have a spell that can create gryphons, I would very much like to meet him! Would you mind sending him to deliver the reply if it isn’t too much trouble?

“Geeze, that guy sounds like a pain. He has too much energy.” You glance at Rhya who is reading over your shoulder and give a roll of your eyes.

“Or you don’t have enough he does seem a bit eccentric, but nice.” Going on you read Captain Yami’s letter shaking your head. He is talking as if you’re already going to join to the point of discussing that they have a room ready for you! Moving on to the next letter you feel Rhya lay back down.

“Wake me up when you’re done will ya?”

Giving a side glance you gently nod, the feeling almost nostalgic as you continue to read. Captain Vangaence is very kind in his letter yet formal nothing you wouldn’t expect from what you saw of him. Next is the Crimson Lion Kings, you can almost hear the Captian’s booming voice yet the letter contains a note of warmth and welcome to it.

Miss Ophelia, I apologize for not getting this to you sooner. Unfortunately my duties have kept me from writing sooner, but I haven’t forgotten the way you assisted myself and the other Captains. I formally invite you to join the Magic Knights as a member of the Crimson Lion Kings. Due to your bravery and willingness to help I believe you will make an excellent member of my squad.

Captain Fuegoleon Vermillion

Smiling you gently fold the letter back and pick up the last one, pausing as it is Captain Silva’s. You’re both curious yet dreading reading what he has to say.

Ophelia Forestier,

I sincerely hope for your sake you have thought of my offer to join the Silver Eagles and our prestigious ranks. It would be a waste of opportunity for the betterment of yourself and your kingdom. As a citizen of Clover Kingdom it is your duty.

Captain Nozel Silva

Finishing you give a quick sideways glance to Rhya standing up getting some paper and writing your reply to the Wizard King. With that done you write the same reply to the Captains explaining the letter from Julius and how you can give them a straight answer right away due to him wanting to discuss the situation with you. Standing up you glance down expecting to see Rhya sleeping, but he is sitting up rubbing his eyes watching you.

“So, ya get that all done?” A yawn comes from his lips and you smile shaking your head.

“Yes, I just need to send them off. Do you want to step outside with me?”

A lazy ‘sure’ drags from his lips as he stands and stretches popping a few joints. “Now we can.”

Shaking your head you walk out and open your grimoire holding a hand in front of you. “Wild Magic: Gryphon’s Gift!”

Mana whirling it shifts and forms into your main gryphon, Gustaph. His deep brown fur and feathers glinting in the sunlight as his glowing green eyes stare at you for a moment. Tail flicking as his attention shifts to Rhya, stalking around you two getting a good look at the man as you sigh. “Something tells me he doesn’t like me.”

Rolling your eyes you hold out the letters to Gustaph and pet the side of his flank. “He just is moody at times.” Giving a snort the hybrid nudges his beak against you lovingly and gently takes the paper in his beak. “I need you to take this to the Capital alright? At Clover Castle where the Wizard King is.”

Nodding he steps off and spreads his large fluffy wings working into a trot as he gives them a harsh downwards beat lifting off. Front legs curled back towards his belly and back haunches pulled up as well. Gustaph didn’t know exactly where the Wizard King was in the Capital but he is a smart enough creature to figure it out. Watching until he is out of sight you and Rhya head back inside sitting back on the couch as a silence stretches between you two.

Hands folded in your lap you glance down thinking, wanting to talk and Rhya picks up on that shifting his body to face you a bit more directly. “Got something on your mind?”

Gaze meeting his, you hesitantly nod, speaking softly. “Say Rhya. It will take Gustaph a couple days to reach the Capital, and I was wondering if I could speak with Licht?” Dark eyes blink as you get his full attention, but he still is easy going as ever waiting for you to continue.

“I feel bad for the other day, and having spent more time with you I feel like I’m ready to try speaking with him again. I want to listen to what he has to say.” Lifting your eyes you clearly are serious and wanting to make amends as he rubs the back of his head tousling his dark hair.

“Well, who am I to turn down someone in need?” He gives a lopsided smile. “I’ll see if he is around for you and we can go see him tomorrow.”

~

Keeping his promise Rhya appears the next day looking quite proud of himself while closing his eyes in content and you shake your head. “One of these times you’re going to get caught you know, just how do you know my family isn’t around?”

“Nah, your sister is in town, mom is outside the same with your dad in a nearby field. I think I’m good.”

You sigh and shake your head as you have many times with him. “So when are we going?”

Cracking an eye open he smirks at you. “Well, we can go right now.” Creating a portal Rhya steps aside and patiently waits for you to go through. “After you, ladies first.”

A nervous smile turns up on your lips and you glance at the portal hesitantly, your throat suddenly tight and palms sweaty with your stomach in knots. Seeing your hesitation an arm wraps around your shoulders in a comforting manner giving you a bit of courage as you smile at him gratefully.  “Thanks Rhya.”

He gives a hum and shrug letting you step forward and through the portal into the unknown. The first thing you notice is the slight cool, damp air. Walking hesitantly you notice three figures with their backs to you turning their heads at the sound of your echoing footfalls. One you immediately recognize as Licht, one a female with pink hair you remember from your memories a little and the other a large male with shaggy blonde hair. Unsure you take a couple steps forward, at least until Licht starts walking over as the other two face you fully.

The bulky male speaking in a gruff voice, even though his smile was friendly it still set you on edge. “Ophelia it’s good to see you, still putting up with Rhya even in this life?”

“Yes, it’s good to see you...see… you.” Fana, at least you think with her blue-green eyes stares and speaks in a monotone voice. Licht however is oddly quiet as he pauses halfway over to you.

Scared you pause glancing back at the portal, wondering briefly if Rhya was just going to leave you alone. Thankfully he steps through moments later glancing between you and the others. As if sensing the tension he puts an arm around your shoulders again guiding you forward. “C’mon now, you wanted to see him.”

Only a few feet from Licht now you can feel eyes on you adding to your nervousness as his calming voice washes over you echoing slightly. “Ophelia, I’m glad you came. I’d like to introduce you to Fana and Vetto, do you remember them?”

Glancing at them your eyes dart away just as quickly staying on the ground speaking timidly. “They are familiar, but I don’t remember them fully. I’m sorry.”

“That will come in due time, don’t worry about rushing to remember.” Gently Licht’s hand is set on your shoulder with an encouraging smile.

The rough voice of Vetto growls out through the cave. “So it is true, you have lost your memories… those humans will pay for what they did to us.”

From over on a rock Rhya yawns and reminds his friend. “Easy there Vetto, she just got here you want to scare her off again? She still is uneasy about you all this.”

Grinning, showing off his shark-like teeth Vetto taunts the man back a little. “Yes, we know. Not all of us were close to Ophelia as you were Rhya.” Eyes closed and arms behind his head Rhya hums from the rock he seems to be napping on.

Something about this all was a little familiar, and you can’t help but give a small smile. They really do seem like family, as you listen to the three you’re watched by Licht who has been mostly silent.

Sympathetically Licht gazes at you and walks guiding you gently as the others stop to watch what is happening. “Ophelia, what is the last thing you remember?”

Nervously you glance up and then away just as quick, feeling almost ashamed that you can’t remember everything. “The last memory I have is…” your eyes flick to his golden ones as he gives a gentle nod of encouragement. “Is the day you and Tetia married, then after that…” unable to keep eye contact, your face contorts to one of despair as the feelings resurface. Your voice grows quieter until it is just a whisper as tears threaten to surface. Happiness, joy, love and togetherness. All that was quickly replaced that day by fear, confusion, sorrow and anger.

You can’t count how many times you had that memory, or how many times you’ve woken up sobbing from the pain it caused. The fact that those people were real and some of them here with you now makes the pain worse than it has ever been. Gently a pair of arms envelop you as Licht’s voice is close speaking soothingly. “It’s alright, we are here now for you, and that won’t happen again.” A slight edge to his voice makes you glance up as you see tears wanting to pool over the edge of his eyes.

“I’m sorry Licht, I didn’t mean to…” glancing away you feel him hold you tighter as you can tell he shakes his head side to side.

“Do not worry about me, what upsets me the most is that you cannot remember those you used to call family. Tell me, do you remember any others besides the four of us, or any memory that stands out?” Pulling back composed now you don’t feel any pressure off him to remember or tell if you aren’t comfortable with it. However you can’t help but feel a bout of guilt come over you.

“I only remember a couple others really...Charla and Patolli.” Everyone goes quiet for a few moments and Licht gently encourages you to continue. “They all feel so fragmented, and I just can’t connect to any of them.” Eyes squeezing shut Licht’s soothing voice reaches your ears.

“It will be alright there are only a few of us now, but soon everyone will be here again. We’ll have our family back and you won’t have to worry anymore Ophelia. Even without your memories they would and will welcome you with open arms.” His warm smile makes you feel better and like everything will be alright. Turning to the others he speaks a bit louder. “We won’t have to hide anymore and we will be able to walk freely again despite what humans have done to us.”

A slight pang of worry comes over you, unsure what he means, but it is eased as Licht’s level gaze is on you once more. “Ophelia, I have something to show you. It’s what we have been working towards to bring everyone back. Rhya, can you open a portal?”

Reaching up a lazy hand he gives it a wave as a portal opens for you and Licht who smiles. “Thank you my friend.” Humming Rhya goes back to his nap not worried in the slightest and that reassures you. Licht after all was the leader of the elves, so why should you worry?

Once more gently guiding you with an encouraging arm at your back you step through. Stepping out it is just the two of you as your eyes land on a large stone tablet with lines connecting indents together that you quickly realize is in the shape of a tree and a tingle runs through your body. Licht glancing over at you calmly taking in your reaction. “Do you know what this is?”

“I... think so.” You speak carefully, racking your brain for the name. “Isn’t this a monument to the Tree of Life?” You only break your gaze when Licht speaks again.

“Yes.” Gold eyes bright on you, he turns his attention to the monument. “If we complete it then we can bring everyone back and possibly your memories will return fully as well.” Noticing your questioning glance he smiles. “When all the magic stones are in place we will be able to resurrect the others. I was able to bring Rhya, Fana and Vetto back through reincarnation magic, but my power has a limit. With this everyone will return and things can go back to the way they were.” Gaze shining as he looks on you watch him. Wanting to ask about the reincarnation magic he smiles so warmly yet. “If you have questions please ask, you have nothing to fear.”

“The magic you used to bring Rhya and the others back..” trailing you don’t know how to finish as Licht hums softly.

“As you can see they aren’t quite themselves because of it. Getting the stones can change that, once we get all of them they will be reborn fully into their bodies.”

Relaxing you gently nod as Licht gives a light squeeze on your shoulder. Licht doesn’t tell you the whole truth, only what you want to hear, but being who he is you trust him. “I hope that can happen soon, even if I don’t remember everything. I still want to help.”

Hearing this a glint shines in his golden eyes as he speaks. “There is a way, those stones on the monument. If you see a stone like that please tell us about it. We need all of them to bring everyone back, and hopefully your memories along with them. I know this is all a lot to take in, so please take your time.”

Gazing back at the stones you feel a click inside your mind, you know where one of them is now. You may not remember everything, but you still mean something to these people. Even if you have your own life you can help rebuild theirs and in a way your own. “I…” just at the one word you have Licht’s utmost attention. “I know where one is.”

You don’t see it since you’re focusing on the stones and monument but his eyes widen in shock as an almost devilish smile crosses his features for a split second. By the time you look back at him his expression is intrigued and joyus. “Where did you get it? Would you mind bringing it here? It would mean a lot to me. To all of us.” Despite his calm tone you can see the excitement in his eyes.

Slowly nodding you speak gently. “Yes, I can get it.”  His head bows a bit and eyes close in thanks, taking your hand giving it a reassuring squeeze, and the two of you head back through the portal.

Head raised Licht speaks up. “Rhya, take Ophelia back home to get something will you?”

Stirring he cracks an eye open. “What? Why is she leaving and coming right back, besides you two took some time coming back. It takes a bit of mana keeping that portal open.”

“Ophelia knows where one of the stones are so we can bring the others back.” At this Fana and Vetto come over and Rhya sits up fully awake.

“Do you really... know where one is? That is wonderful Ophelia… wonderful.” Eyes blank she pads over taking your hand in a one of hers and patting the top of yours with her other.

Even Vetto looks happy about it and you feel a little less scared of him despite his appearance. Hopping up from his rock Rhya stretches while walking over. “Alright, you ready sweetheart?” Giving another yawn he opens a portal and you give an amused smile. Glancing back at the others for a moment you step through and Rhya follows shortly.

Letting out a baited breath you are relieved to find no one is home yet. Hurrying up to your room as he walks lazily behind you. “What’s the hurry? It isn’t like Licht can’t wait another few minutes to get the stone.” Glancing back you head in the direction of your room listening and feeling carefully for any mana about.

“How many times do I have to tell you it would be difficult to explain?” You hiss in a hushed voice much to Rhya’s amusement.

“It’s fine everyone is out yet, besides if someone did walk in you could always tell them I’m your boyfriend.” Tone teasing you can’t help but blush, especially at his suggestion given the memory you had yesterday.

Entering your room you take a breath and focus walking over to the small wooden vanity with a hand carved wooden box on it. As you feel Rhya curiously watching from behind you lift the lid and gently take out the rectangular stone. Some kind of white marking on it with the stone itself being a peridot green. Gently taking it off a piece of cloth your fingers brush a broken bracelet with what looks like butterflies on it and a feeling of sadness rushes over you.

About to hand it to Rhya he shakes his head. “You give it to him, it will make him happy. Besides, how long have you had it anyway? Seems like you’ve taken good care of it.”

Glancing back at the stone you nod. “Yeah… I found it when I was little. I think around five years old. It was around in the dirt of one of dad’s fields, part of me thought it was pretty, but also I felt drawn to it. It was sad seeing it laying there.”

“Hmm so back then you knew huh?” Giving a shrug you stare at it a little more while his eyes wander inside the box to the broken bracelet. “You know, you could fix that up and wear it again. It always was your favorite.” Surprised you glance back to the box as well and bite your lip.

“This was mine?”  Nodding he gives a smile as if remembering something and you shake your head. “I can’t, I feel so sad looking at it. All I can remember is… that day.” Thinking back your heart aches remembering the running, screaming, smoke and blood. Remembering seeing Licht holding Tetia’s body. Running towards Rhya having found him, moments later a pain running through your body as his gold eyes go wide. Shouting your name as his fingers catch on the bracelet and it breaks.

Hand on your shoulder Rhya lets you know he is there, and remembers as well. “Maybe someday.” Giving a halfhearted smile you gently nod back, blinking away any tears threatening to fall. Arms around you he stays with you for a while until you relax again. “Let’s get back to Licht.”

Letting out a heavy breath you nod, and the two of you walk through a portal back to the others.  Seeing and sensing your return in a blink Licht is at your side. Startled you gasp and scream nearly dropping the stone, but two hands wrap around the one you hold it in.

“I think you should do the honors.” Gently handing it back, Licht wraps your fingers around the stone again glancing at Rhya as the man nods, opening a portal. Hesitantly you nod in agreement and eager to get it in place he ushers you through the portal. Coming part way towards the monument with you and stopping letting you continue the rest in your own time.

Slowly you approach the tablet as your kneel to put the stone in its proper place. With a deep breath in and out you insert the stone gasping. A rush coming over you as you feel others, not with you directly but… they are so familiar it brings tears to your eyes. Staring you don’t speak for a while too shocked from what you experienced. “I-... what that…? I think I felt them.” Standing up shakily to face Licht wide eyed as he nods solemnly to you.

“Yes, that was them. The spirits of everyone else from our tribe, I hope if you had any doubt left of who you are it is cleared up.”

Closing your eyes to steel yourself you nod. “Yes.”

Gently smiling he holds out his hand. “Let’s go back to the others, I know Fana has been wanting to speak with you. She misses you greatly, and would like to catch up.”

~

The next day you visit the others Fana talks to you trying to connect the best she can. Asking what you remember or telling you about a memory you don’t quite remember. Vetto is surprisingly chatty as well, speaking to him about your magic when asked and by the time you leave again you almost don’t wish to.

Back at your home Rhya is about to lay on the couch as he blinks and glances over to a spot in the living room mildly annoyed. “Aw man, what a pain.”

Unable to ask what he means the man falls backwards through a portal on the couch. Simultaneously a pair of large double doors open up revealing a portal, and a man with curly brown hair piled on his head steps through. “Hello, hello! I’m looking for a Miss Ophelia, would you be her?” Nodding you are surprised as he takes a scroll out making it all very formal and very real “I am Cob, Cob Portaport one of the Wizard King’s advisors! As requested by Julius Novachrono the 28th Wizard King I am here to bring you to the capital!” Tone chipper and cheery you are relieved.

“Oh, please give me a moment! I need to tell my family.” Smiling he nods and says something a bit odd.

“Oh of course- of coursity course Miss!”

Quickly you run outside to tell them only to meet at the door, they must have felt the extra mana it was hard to miss. Thankfully it is kept short. In between Rhya’s visits you explained to your family about the letters, or rather reminded them, and even though they are hesitant a request from the Wizard King and four Captains is hard to turn down. Saying goodbye was a bit odd, but you would see them again. Besides you’re an adult, this was a step not only for you, but for giving them a better life.

Returning to Cob you smile and nod at him nervously as he smiles. “Step right through Miss! You’ll be taken right to the Wizard King’s office!”

Entering the double doors you come out on the other side in a well furnished building with what seems like marble tile. Eyes wandering the room you see a man with blue hair who straightens up and addresses you. “Ah, you must be Ophelia. Thank you for coming, and welcome to the Capital.”

[pearlgrayrose]

All right so I’ve finished reading King of Fools by Amanda Foody, and as far as I’m aware, this is a relatively small fandom so idk if anyone will even see this, but:  I need to scream about this book and I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, so!!  My long, incoherent, and very spoilery thoughts are below the line!

JAC NOOOO!!  I’m so upset, Jac was an amazing and really intricate character and now...gone.  The stupid fucking omerta.  Yes, I knew that logically, an important character would have to die over the course of this series.  But I did not want it to be him  :(

On that note, I had been seriously concerned that he would get back on Lullaby over the course of this book.  So I’m at least happy that it didn’t end up happening, but Charles Torren was awful and deserved what he got

In spite of all the other amazing characters, Enne continues to be my favorite.  She just has so much depth to her, and she’s come so far from first arriving in New Reynes.  She is definitely a Sinner now and I love it.  The literal first thing she does at that meeting is threaten Jonas - Jonas!  Scavenger!  The Scar Lord! - and you HAVE to respect that

Sophia is such an interesting character and I love reading about her.  Can’t wait for her POV in Queen of Volts!

JONAS MACCABEES what the fuck.  This character.  He is the most confusing person ever written about.  Okay maybe not, but you get my point.  One moment he’s saving Jac’s life, the next moment he’s being a really frustrating person, then the next he’s being hilariously relatable, and then he’s betraying everyone and then being really noble and then disappearing and then WTF JONAS

The Jonas and Harrison thing.  I.  What.

“There are cats everywhere named after murderers”  I love this

Throughout the entire book, I kept thinking to myself, “What the fuck is going on with Bryce Balfour?”  And it took until the end of the book (and reading the online prologue to Queen of Volts) but now that I know what the fuck is going on with Bryce Balfour, he is an even creepier and more chilling character than before

Also now at least I know why Rebecca was acting like that

Levi’s relationship with Narinder was very interesting and fun to read about but I’m glad it’s over - and yeah, for Levi’s sake, but much more so for Narinder’s.  The poor guy, honestly.  He had no bad intentions or ambitions:  he just wanted to run his club and keep himself and his sister safe, and suddenly he has gangs overflowing in the Catacombs and Tock keeps risking herself and blowing shit up all the time.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Levi, but he does make mistakes and Narinder was completely right in saying that he was doing all the listening/giving and Levi was doing all the talking/taking.  Narinder literally just wanted to run the Catacombs and be left alone

Lola had better get her job as a librarian at the end of this.  Lola Sanguick deserves the world

The Spirits are all so cool, and having Enne as a streetlord makes them ten times better.  It’s just...so refreshing to see so many characters who embrace femininity without being ashamed of it, you know?  (And that scene where Enne is watching over Roy, her hostage, with a gun while reading a tabloid magazine with an article about the gang and she gives her own wanted poster a kiss?  Perfection)

I absolutely adore the friendship between Lola and Jac.  They are amazing and the support they have for each other is so awesome to see!!  They’ll bicker and tease each other, but when it comes down to it, they have each other’s backs and they’re the ones that the other goes to when they really need it.  It’s great.  Plus she calls him Polka Dots because of that one cravat that he didn’t even buy, which is hilarious

Grace’s existence.  She’s an assassin and a financial expert who just hangs around reading romance novels and whose sole life purpose is to torment Roy.  What more can I say?

LOLA AND TOCK

Another bullet point for Lola and Tock because they are sooo cute!!  Lola blushing when Tock flirts with her at the party?  Lola acting all flustered when Jac is trying to ask her about the date?  Tock sleeping on the couch with her head resting on Lola’s shoulder?  alskjdflskjfsldkfjslfjslfjsd

This is getting long but idc.  Vianca is such an interesting villain:  a terrible person but a great antagonist.  You can tell exactly why she does the things she does and why she reacts this way, but you still hate her for it because she’s a monster and oh my god

It boggles my mind how Prescott could just...be killed, and the election would still go through.  And people would call it fair.  Like, no shit Harrison got elected.  The opposition is LITERALLY DEAD

Harvey!  He’s done a lot of messed up things, but I honestly feel bad for him, especially after reading the prologue for Queen of Volts.  I’m excited to read more about him

Mansi leaving the Irons and joining the Scarhands...it didn’t affect me as much as I thought it was supposed to?  Idk.  I didn’t exactly expect that she’d swear to Jonas, but as for leaving the Irons, I kind of saw it coming.  It definitely seemed likely, at least

Levi has so much character growth in this book.  It’s amazing.  Between what Narinder tells him and his argument with Jac (and now, Jac’s death), he’s really growing up and learning to prioritize the things that are really important over the things that he simply wants.  Because, as Jac and he both say in this book, he wants everything.  But not really anymore

Yessss Lackluster burned

There is no way that Ivory’s actually gone for good

I get the feeling that there’s more happening with Rebecca than just “she’s sick and Bryce can’t find anything else to cure her.”  Like, clearly that’s the case, but I find it hard to believe that Rebecca (someone who has made it very obvious that she has legitimate feelings for Bryce) would be comfortable with him trying to sell his soul to the Bargainer in exchange for a cure for her

As a final note, this book was AMAZING and there were so many twists and turns and I just....asldkfjslkfjsdfls.  Still bitter about Jac, but I’m so excited for Queen of Fools to come out so I can see what happens!!!

[polar-stars]

2,3,4,8,11,16,35 for shigeo yasu mika lola please :3

(OG Meme) - Sorry for the late answer 🙏

Shigeo

2. What do they usually like for breakfast?

Coffee. Shigeo can’t start his day without one (or more) Espresso. That is out of question. 

Food-wise, given that he’s a busy bee, he usually gets himself something from a bakery that you can eat quickly to go...like a sandwich or a croissant. It is rumored though that, should Shigeo actually find himself with some time on his hands in the morning, that he likes himself some French Toast a lot. 

3. What sort of cuddler are they?

To get cuddled by Shigeo, you need a lot of, a lot, A LOT of trust from him and he needs to care about you a great ton. 

Shigeo preferable cuddles people who are a lot shorter than him *cough*. He likes lifting the person up, or clutching them to his chest. One of the marginal amount of people that Shigeo likes to cuddle is Moe. 

4. How do they say “I love you”?

These three words are very hard to audibly say for Shigeo.

His love for the very few people he does genuinely care about is shown the most through his strong loyalty to them.

But I also gotta say that, Shigeo being Shigeo also really loves to spoil the people he loves. So yeah....lots of gifts, being real. 

8. What makes them laugh?

Shigeo tries to suppress actual laughter usually (pretty much like his mom Nene) but there’s a good number of thinks that do amuse him. 

His humor can go pretty dark though.

11. What bad habits do they have?

So, so, SO MANY. 

Sometimes he forgets to eat, he tends to go out into the cold without a scarf because he believes a scarf doesn’t match his outfit etc. etc.

His worst habit is how he swallows up all negative emotions in him. 

16.What makes them worry?

It’s incredibly hard to unease Shigeo. 

He mostly tends to get worried when one of the people he legitimately cares about seems to be in some form of distress.

35. What sort of parent would they be?

Shigeo would honestly be a very doting father. In comparison to his wife, he’d be the more lenient parent and since he’s Shigeo, he’d also be incredibly spoiling but also pretty protective. 

Education would also be an important subject matter to him as well though. 

(Rest is under the cut)

Yasu

2. What do they usually like for breakfast?

Homeboy often just eats a couple slices of bread with smoked salmon, avocado or his mother’s homemade jam perhaps. If he should feel like anything fancier he would fry himself an egg to put that on his egg alongside some parsley.

Yasu does also really love a classic Japanese breakfast a lot and sometimes will make himself some Miso Soup in the morning as well. 

3. What sort of cuddler are they?

A good one, even if one might not expect it! Yasu sees rather quickly when a person doesn’t want to talk and so he tends to let actions speak instead (if he’s close enough to the person). Yasu’s hugs are very comforting, not to tight but securing.

4. How do they say “I love you”?

If Yasu feels certain that the love is returned he does not struggle to say it out loud. If he’s unsure however, he’d show it through little actions like smiling whenever they’re talking, easing them when they’re upset and so on. 

8. What makes them laugh?

Yasu is not one to laugh a lot honestly. The antics of the Polar Star students is something that can urge a chuckle or even more out of him at times. 

11. What bad habits do they have?

Avoiding to talk about his worries most certainly! But also letting his sense of protectiveness cloud his judgement at times. 

16.What makes them worry?

He’s generally speaking hard to uneasy, but his greatest fear would be disappointing his parents. He’s also worried a lot for Chieko.

35. What sort of parent would they be?

A great one! He’s son of the certified PSD parents after all, it’s in his genes.

He would be a very patient, understanding father who’d put family above all else and also try his best to raise his children into good people. He’d also prefer to stay living in his home village, instead of a big city, and have the city grow up close to nature just like he did. 

Mika

2. What do they usually like for breakfast?

Mika tends to have multiple things for breakfast. One thing she really likes is fruit! She’d totally make herself a bowl of greek yogurt with honey & fresh strawberries & afterwards would also have some toast with tomatoes and mozzarella cheese. She can be rather creative when it comes to breakfast.

If she doesn’t have a lot of time on her hands, she tends to make herself a “Speed Donburi”, which is smth her mother thought up. 

3. What sort of cuddler are they?

Mika is super romantic, so needless to say, if she’s in a relationship she craves for human touch and cuddles. 

She prefers being held, but sometimes she wraps her arms around her significant other herself and rests her head against his back. 

4. How do they say “I love you”?

It does cost Mika quite some willpower to bring herself to say it, as she is not too open about the romantic part of her in general. When she does say it though it will sound very honest. 

8. What makes them laugh?

Mika loves her romcoms & they never fail to get a lot of laughter out of her. 

Some of her father’s antics or her uncle Isami’s teases towards Takumi can amuse Mika as well. She does tend to grin or chuckle at a certain wit in people’s talk. 

11. What bad habits do they have?

Mika tends to have troubles with taking the people surrounding her into account. She has a tendency of wanting to dominate all conversation, which leads to her unintentionally drowning others out. 

16.What makes them worry?

Mika worries a great deal over Hiroshi and how at times he seems to have troubles adjusting to Totsuki’s battle-heartened philosophies. 

But Mika is also that friend that views it as her duty to protect her friends from any sort off heartbreak. For example, when Chieko ultimately gets closer to Shigeo...Mika does at one point tell the guy, face-to-face, that she’ll drop-kick him into the Bahamas if he even thinks of hurting Chieko. 

35. What sort of parent would they be?

Mika would be one protective momma. A kid being mean to her child in school? Expect her to stand in the director’s office the next morning and demands answers. 

She’d teach her kid that being feminine & liking pink doesn’t make you weak and would love it if her child develops the same interest for romance she always harbored so they can enjoy them together. 

Lola

2. What do they usually like for breakfast?

Lola is used to a lot of variety for breakfast every morning. Her favorite thing to eat are oatmeals though and she eats a different variation almost every morning I’d say. 

3. What sort of cuddler are they?

Lola is not big on cuddles being real. She’d only let someone she feels very close to hug her. 

When she does happen to be upset or sad, that’s an instance where she does like being held. In return, when she can see that someone she cares about needs a hug, she’ll reach out. 

4. How do they say “I love you”?

Lola only says it out loud when she has the feeling that it’s definitely warranted. Besides that, she rather shows it through very subtle but still meaningful actions.

8. What makes them laugh?

Lola is incredibly easily amused, so there’s a lot of things I could name. She enjoys teasing people and seeing her words work the way she anticipated. She also considers banter she isn’t involved in to be rather entertaining. 

In forms of media, she tends to laugh at rather dark humor as well.

11. What bad habits do they have?

In the beginning of the story, Lola never allows people to get closer to her and firmly believes she’s better off alone. She kinda sees everyone who’s not part of her family as a potential enemy. 

16.What makes them worry?

Lola will visibly grow more worried over Hiraku’s and Kimiko’s ongoing conflict actually, because family has always been incredibly valuable to Lola. It will become the most obvious in drama arc. 

35. What sort of parent would they be?

Oh, Lola as mom.....🤔

Being real, I think she’d try her best to be the same kind of mother Alice has been to her. 

[hopeymchope]

Unpopular opinion: I really don’t like Kokichi I get that he’s complex and he did so much in the endgame and objectively, he’s a great well written character, but he rubbed me all the wrong ways for way to long that it was kinda too late to redeem him for me.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree | ah shit, here we go again

I had to save this one a bit so I could really go into it, because I strongly agree with your distaste for Kokichi. He rubbed me the wrong way too - so many times and in so many ways, he’s there acting wantonly cruel and hateful to everyone. He’s introduced with a scene where he’s treating Kiibo as a sub-human, upsetting Kiibo greatly on the exact topic he already can tell Kiibo is most senstivie about - that’s literally his INTRO SCENE, and that says a LOT about the kind of shitheel Kokichi enjoys being.

However, as for whether he’s a great and well-written character... I dunno. I both agree and disagree.

I’ve written before about how I hate him (check me out - directly linking to a post that has gotten me hate messages, death threats and active trolls before! Gosh I’m such a rebel but seriously please don’t send me death threats I’m unstable enough as it is). Honestly, I feel very vindicated by the fact that last week saw someone else on Tumblr saying “Man, I fell in love with fandom Kokichi, but now that I’m playing the game myself, canon Kokichi is murdering that love.” That is funny as hell and it says SO MUCH

But my disagreement is that... well, is he a well-written character? I mean... he’s... inconsistent, that’s for sure. There are elements of his writing that I just don’t find very believable.

Sometimes he is. Sometimes he’s great. He’s incredibly good at pushing the buttons of the characters to make them disgusted with him. His manipulations are well-handled. He make a very powerful antagonist - I’d argue he’s a greater “enemy” to the cast than the main “mastermind” of V3. (The real mastermind of V3 isn’t really an individual, I’d argue.) He instills real rage in me with how he knows exactly how to find what our sympathetic cast members are sensitive about and then use it to tear them down and make them feel like shit.

Hell, I guess that means he’s exactly what John Mulaney says about teenage boys. (“Check out that high-waisted man; he got feminine hips!”)

However, his ability to always, ALWAYS know exactly what happened in any case from the moment a trial begins, and (even moreso) his ability to always be a 100% foolproof lie detector no matter how straight-faced the lie is delivered? Those are basically bullshit. They make him seem like magic. Even when a case is absurdly convoluted or someone says a lie in a completely believable way, Magical Ouma can see through all, proving a better detective than anyone in the cast (and then use the fact that he sees through all to... dick with everybody for no reason). These powers of his are just annoying plot device that aren’t justified for me in any believable way.

But I guess that’s limited to trial-writing. Because outside of the trials, I’m not sure if those same things still apply? For example: When Kaede suggests that maybe Monokuma ISN’T dead in the first chapter, he is immediately suspicious and accuses her of wanting the killing game to happen.

There are two possibilities at that moment:

He legitimately is unable to see that Kaede is sincere in her concern and thinks she’s lying, making his “flawless lie detection” skill not function properly outside of trials for some unknown reason.

He knows she’s sincere but just wants to hurt her and discredit her and make her feel shitty because he’s an asshole.

Both are equally plausible for the character, sadly. (It’s also worth noting that this is one of many moments where no one has died so there’s no way he’s already formulated his elaborate ‘end the killing game’ plan, but he’s still acting like a Grade-A dick in spite of that.)

He is, ultimately, a super-effective troll who reaps exactly what he sews. His entire gambit to end the killing game by taking on the blame and hiding his true intentions doesn’t work in the end, but it DOES result in multiple deaths because so many people hate him and want him dead as a result of his own actions. So when you consider that the game (and the series) celebrates cooperation and trust as the only true route to success, he’s thematically screwed and going to never be more than a thorn in the side of the cast; I’d argue he’s more effectively damaging than either Komaeda or Togami were in their games. Someone so accepting and embracing of distrust that he’d try to hurt as many people as possible so he can put up a front and end the game all on his own? He was kinda doomed from the get-go.

I think you’re completely justified in finding his distasteful. Canon Kokichi is a deeply toxic person to be around, unfortunately. Fanon Kokichi, on the other hand, is just kind of a fun-loving goof who lies in the silliest of ways?

Maaaaybe this is an attempt to imagine what he’d be like outside of the stress of being trapped with his students like in V3. On the other hand, I’d also ssume a huge chunk of the fandom never experienced the game firsthand without a filter, opting instead to experience it through someone else’s playthrough that contained an amateur translation as that person went along. And as I’ve seen time and time again, watching a DR playthrough that’s still in japanese wildly affects how people see the characters and events of these games, because that person doing the amateur on-the-fly translation is absolutely going to serve as a warping lens that distorts the events and characters through their own interpretation and because of unfiltered cultural divides.